Echoes Of Heart

Part 1- A Lonely Soul

As Abhimanyu stood by the hill side, the city lights sprawled before him like a luminous tapestry, each flicker a reminder of moments gone by. The once lively colors of Udaipur now felt dull, mirroring the gloom that had settled in his heart. His heart was a storm of emotions, tangled in the web of time as he relived the echoes of his past. Regret seeped into his thoughts like an unwelcome guest, casting shadows on the memories that danced in his mind. The mistakes he wished he could erase loomed large, their weight pressing down upon his shoulders. Yet, in the quiet solitude of that moment, he understood that those very missteps had shaped him.

With each breath, Abhimanyu felt the chill of the evening air, as if the wind sought to whisper truths that he had long ignored. A lonely tear escaped his eye, tracing a path down his cheek, reflecting the moonlight before falling to the earth. It was a moment of introspection, where the cacophony of his internal turmoil met the serene silence of the night.

In the distance, the gentle hum of the city reached his ears, a comforting reminder that life continued beyond his personal storm. Somewhere amidst the throng of people in Udaipur, stories of joy, love, and laughter were unfolding. It was a reminder that his narrative, though marred with sorrow, was not the only one, and perhaps, not the end of his journey.

The hill upon which he stood had witnessed countless tales, each footstep engraved with history and lessons untold. Abhimanyu closed his eyes, allowing the memories to wash over him one last time before setting them free.

"Is it truly worth it, Mahadev?" he mused aloud, seeking answers from the his beloved deity. "Is sacrificing my own peace and happiness for others ever justified? We all falter, especially when burdened with sorrow. But do those moments of weakness define us, or is there hope for redemption, for forgiveness, for a fresh start?"

He pauses, lost in thought.

A bitter smile creeps across his face.

I've always been there to hold everyone. But now, I'm the one who's crumbling..he reflected with a touch of irony.

Tears streamed down his face as unburdened his soul, his voice trembling with the weight of his sorrow. Each word a plea for relief as all the past moments starts swirling around him like a tempest. Memories of the past whirled around him like a storm, and he recalled the hope that surged within him upon learning of his son's survival.

"I thought he would be my everything," he whispers to himself.

"But now, he sees me as nothing more than a convenient support system. It's as if I'm nothing to him, a mere afterthought."

His heart ached with a blend of sadness and resignation. "Maa, who I fought for tirelessly, always treated me as a second priority. Whether for sir or Neil, even when they were wrong, I was like a spare part, called upon only when needed."

As tears begin to stream down his face. "And the woman I loved more than anything, the one I was ready to sacrifice everything even the dream of being father...she's replaced me as if I never existed. It's as if I was never a part of her life."

In the depths of his solitude, he wonders if the roles were reversed-if Arohi were in Neil's place and I were in Akshara's, would she forgive me without a second thought or say it was fate's fault? Or would she blame me like I did in my sorrow and anger?

The answer was already clear to him, yet the thought lingered, weaving through his mind. A deep sigh escaped his lips, carrying with it the weight of unspoken regrets and unfulfilled dreams.

A deep sigh escapes his lips.

Roohhh, my Roohi, wants me to be her papa. But do I really need to marry Arohi to fulfill my promise? Why can't maa understand that I don't want to marry?.... No, no, I can't! Even if it means I have to stand against my own mother, I must follow my heart. My heart aches at the thought of causing her pain, but I know I must stay true to myself even if it means walking alone.

A bitter chuckle escapes him, mingling with the night air.

I've always been the backup plan, haven't I? Why does it always have to be me? The one who's always there for everyone else, but when I need someone, I'm left standing alone. I've given so much of myself, poured my heart and soul into the lives of others, only to be met with indifference. It's like I'm a ghost, haunting the lives of those I love, but never truly belonging.

Why does my heart feel so heavy? I've tried so hard, Mahadev, to be strong, to face the storms with courage. But now, I find myself weary, lacking the strength to confront those challenges again. How do I muster the courage once more, when it seems the weight of the world is pressing down on me?

Exhausted by being the backup plan, he realised he was tired of being a doormat, allowing others to tread upon him without hesitation. But how can I expect change when I've been so willing to sacrifice my own happiness for others? I've sacrificed my own dreams, my own desires, for the people I care about. And what have I gotten in return? Nothing but pain and heartache.

It's time for a change. I can't keep living like this, trapped in a cycle of self-sacrifice and self-doubt. I need to break free, to find myself again, to rediscover the person I was before I lost myself in the lives of others.

I need to heal, to mend my broken heart. I need to find peace, to find a sense of direction. I need to stop being a victim.

"It won't be easy, but it's time", determination steeling his heart.

I will live for myself and for those who truly need me. I will help those who have no one but Mahadev, just like me. And I will embark on this journey to find myself again.

With newfound clarity, he prayed, "Mahadev, I have made a very difficult decision. Please stand by me and show me the way."