Bang Chan sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the wall as the memories of that fateful day haunted him. Guilt clawed at him, relentless and unforgiving. He could still hear Felix's voice, the desperation, the love. The weight of his rejection felt heavier with each passing day.
He had buried Felix just days after the tragedy, the grief-stricken faces of their friends etched in his mind. How could he have let this happen? The boy who had filled his life with laughter and light was gone, and he had driven him away with his fear.
One evening, as he scrolled through social media, he stumbled upon a post by one of their fans, a tribute to Felix. It was filled with love and support, people sharing their own stories of acceptance. The outpouring of kindness made something inside Chan stir.
He took a deep breath and opened his own Instagram account. He hesitated for a moment, fingers hovering over the keyboard, but he felt a wave of resolve wash over him. He typed:
"I want to share something that I've kept hidden for too long. I've been afraid of what people would think, but I can't keep lying to myself anymore. I'm gay, and I loved Felix. I lost him, and I can't let fear silence me anymore."
He hit send, and the flood of comments that followed was overwhelming. Messages of love, support, and understanding poured in, wrapping him in a warm embrace he didn't know he needed.
Days turned into weeks, and the weight in Chan's chest began to ease, even if just a little. He found himself visiting Felix's grave often, bringing flowers and sharing stories. Each visit felt like a step towards healing, a step toward honoring Felix's memory.
One afternoon, as the sun dipped below the horizon, Chan sat beside Felix's grave, a bouquet of wildflowers resting gently on the stone. "I'm sorry, Lix," he whispered, tears spilling down his cheeks. "I was so scared. I didn't want to lose everything, and I ended up losing you instead."
He closed his eyes, imagining Felix's laughter, the way his eyes sparkled when he smiled. "I'm trying to be better. I want to make you proud."
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The breeze whispered through the trees, and for the first time since that day, Chan felt a sense of peace. He promised himself he would live openly, honoring Felix's love, and never again let fear dictate his life.
As he sat in silence, the waves crashing in the distance, he felt Felix beside him in spirit, guiding him toward a brighter tomorrow.
