Kissed by God

Prologue

From the diary of Christy Ollen:

" August 21st

I guess I'm not afraid of death. I mean, I'm not afraid of my death. But I am afraid of the death of my relatives, my loved ones. After all, I cannot predict it, prevent it, I can't resurrect the deceased. I'd hate to think about it so much, but it's waiting for all of us. And, most likely, I will see the death of my parents. God, it's so sad... I wish I could die first... to avoid seeing someone else die. It's so weird... Yesterday you were still talking to a man, looking into his eyes, and today he is no longer there. Or rather, he is, but already dead. It's like he's sleeping, but this sleep is eternal, and the sleeper will never wake up again... There will be no second chance!

I don't want this to happen to Charlie..."

" September 8th

Why was I afraid of death before? It's no different from life. Only that it's a complete unknown. But life is the same, isn't it?
It's completely inevitable. Immortality doesn't exist and thank God. Death is also a kind of beginning. The beginning of what we don't know. You don't have to believe in Hell and Heaven or the Afterlife. Death may just be the beginning of silence and darkness, a kind of emptiness where you don't feel yourself. Or something more interesting... Isn't anyone interested?.. Does no one really think about such things?... Then why is Death so hated and feared? There's nothing wrong with it... I would like to make friends with it..."

" September 15th

Charlie couldn't come to terms with death... It's a pity that it happened like that... But what can I do? Was that how it was meant to be? Was he destined to? Who should I ask these questions to? To God? Will he answer? Why do I feel guilty about him? In front of both of them? In front of them all?..

God has treated us so unfairly... Probably should have killed the weed, not the rose. Then why did he make a different choice? Charlie didn't want to die...

Eh... Why does life take away our most precious things? You lose everything you had, and they tell you, "Accept it, move on." Well, well..."

" October 1st

Mom wants to send me to a psychologist. She says I need it. It won't help... All that's going to save me is Charlie. Or even his grave. By the way, will need to bring more lavender there..."

" October 25

I've been thinking for a long time. I replayed my life, my memories, injuries, pain, Charlie... And I made a conclusion. I don't want to go back to the past, but I also don't want to go to the future, especially knowing that he won't be there. It's better to die, because I don't see the point in living on. It will only kill me more. Time."

" October 28th

Today is my birthday. My parents congratulated me. I feel like they love me... I wish I could take them with me... They put a pendant gift in the birthday cake. Funny... I wonder how they will live with the knowledge that their daughter planned suicide that day? She smiled at them, talked to them, looked innocently into their eyes... And did this...

Well, yes. I'm going to kill myself today. On my own holiday. It's original, isn't it?.. I'll wait until everybody is asleep and go to the bathroom with a knife. Wish me luck!) "

That was the last entry. After that, the girl did what she was gonna do. And she did it...