Kissed by God

1. End = beginning.

Graveyard. That's usually the end of it, but not this time. That's where it all starts this time. Early foggy morning. Cold as my heart is now. A white translucent veil covers the tops of stone tombstones, darkened by dampness and time. Quietly, not a single living soul, only the dead who rested underground, and me. But it's hard for me to call myself alive now.

I'm standing in front of my Angel's grave. Yes, it is an angel. My best friend, who took my heart irrevocably. After all, I loved him more than my life... He was everything to me. My past, my present, but unfortunately not my future. He saved my life, but I didn't save his. And now we're here. Terrible dates are carved on his tombstone. And they match. He died on his birthday. He turned 18. I didn't even have time to congratulate him...

Charlie Harold Pitt. The holy name. The name of my first love, the name of my savior, the name of my God. How did it happen that he was the first to take a place in the graveyard?!

Tears are running down my cheeks. I'm holding a bouquet of dried lavender in my hand, because these are his favorite flowers. Were. Sitting on my knees, I touch the stone slab with my hand, hoping that he'll feel it. So stupid...

"Charlie... I hope you can hear me... I'd like you to hear me," my voice is trembling, my breathing is constantly interrupted, and I try to hold back tears in order to utter at least a word, "I brought you your favorite lavender, even though you won't smell it... Charlie, you know how much I love you and how much I will always love you. There won't be a day when I won't remember you. I don't know why you left me, but we'll definitely meet again. Soon..."

My tears fall on the purple flowers I just brought. I try to hug the cold tombstone, but my fingers slide over the wet surface of the stone.

"You know... It's been a week since you died, but I still keep coming to see you here every day. It's like this is my home now. After all, my home is where you are. I don't know how to let you go. I can not. I don't want to. I still can't get over the idea that I'll never see you alive again. I'll never see your smile, your eyes. I'll never hug you or take your hand... This is not normal! I can't live without you!"

Unable to contain my emotions, I just burst into tears. A desperate scream bursts out of my chest, and I'm almost on the verge of throwing a real hysterics. But that's later...

"Oooh... God..."

"Angels don't die". The inscription on Charlie's tombstone. Few people know, but real angels live among us, ordinary people. And they never die. Physically, yes, spiritually, no. Even after death, their souls continue to live among us. And I believe, I feel, that Charlie's soul is always with me, because he was one of those angels. This world has lost his best.

And the memories come flooding back, brutally killing me...

"Another ordinary day. Classmates are teasing me again for my dark red hair and bright freckles on my face. It's the same thing every year...
The lesson begins.

"Children, I'm glad to introduce you to our new student! Charlie will now be in your class!" the teacher introduces a new boy. He looks cute. Dark hair, pale skin, narrow brown eyes (he's probably from Japan or Korea), and no freckles.  "Well, come on in, sit down in any available place!"

Stop. Is he coming to me?! Oh no! They'll start teasing him for sitting with me! Damn!..

"Hi, I'm Charlie. Nice to meet you!" He sits down next to me and holds out his hand. His eyes are so bright...

"Hi, Charlie! I'm Christy. It's nice to meet you too!" I hold out my hand in return, smiling.

"You have a very beautiful hair color! And cute freckles!" His bright, sincere smile lit me up.
What did he just say??? Is this not a joke? Does he really think so? But this is the first person who told me that..."