Caro's Descent

Chapter Six - The Decision

Later that night, Paul and I sat on the couch in the living room. The muted glow of the television cast shadows around us. Dad glanced in as he walked by, his eyes widening slightly at the sight of me. It was usual for Paul to sit there freshly showered at that hour, but I could tell it surprised him to see me home.

I understood how worried he and Mom had been. A man with experiences such as my father's knew the signs well. He must have seen the red in my eyes when I stumbled into the house during the early morning hours. I know he recognized the telltale smell lingering on my clothes. He must have known the dark road I had been traveling.

It's difficult for a father to watch his son step into the darkness. My dad understood one wrong word in my fragile adolescent ears could shift me into overdrive. I didn't realize it then, but my father and I were very similar in our struggles.

Paul also noticed Dad standing in the doorway, staring at us. "Do you want the couch, Dad? We can get up if you wanna lie down," he offered with a light tone.

Dad smiled softly, though worry still lingered in his gaze. "No, you guys are fine," he said, his eyes focusing on me. There it was—his familiar blend of concern and hope. "Is everything okay? I'm surprised to see you home at this hour, Mike. Not hanging out with your new friends tonight?"

The voice had been quiet for nearly three months, but it returned with a vengeance, a relentless whisper in my ear—never giving me a moment's peace. "Look at him, Michael. Your poor father worries sick about you. Do you see that flicker of hope in his eyes? He hopes your brother may have talked some sense into you. Do you suppose he realizes how close you came to obliterating your future? How you almost penetrated your vein with that needle? Go ahead, tell him. Peer into your father's eyes and reveal your truth. No, not you, Michael. You'd never dare look into your father's honest eyes. That's it, stare at the floor, as usual, when you answer him."

"Na, I'm beat. I'm finally using the gym membership you got me." I said, my tone nonchalant. "I went with Paul today. He worked the sh—the crap out of me."

Paul smirked, clearly trying to lighten the mood. "Yeah, I can't take him with me anymore. Mikey almost killed me, staring at some chick's ass while he should have been spotting me."

"Oh, shut up, Paul." I retorted, irritation creeping into my voice. "You were checking her out, too. Besides, you should know better. I'm not strong enough to spot you. Dad, Paul lifts over two hundred pounds, and he expects me to pull the bar up when he can't lift it. Also, I realize you were messing with me, Paul. That's pretty messed up, pretending to choke just because you saw me look at that girl."

A slight grin played at the corners of Dad's mouth. "Man, that must have been some ass." He said, expertly defusing the rising tension. "Maybe I should start going with you guys."

Confusion furrowed Paul's brow as he turned toward me. "I wasn't messing around, Mike. If you hadn't lifted the bar, I couldn't have pushed it off my neck."

Although his voice sounded convincing, a seed of doubt lingered within me. "Yeah, right, Paul. I thought about it all the way home. I pulled with everything I had, but I couldn't budge it. Then, the bar suddenly became weightless. You must have been messing with me, and then you pushed it up. There's no way I could have lifted that bar."

"Whatever, Mike. You don't want to admit you care about me. You realized I couldn't breathe, and you had an adrenaline rush. We talked about it before the recruiter spoke to you, remember?"

Dad's eyes widened, surprise etched across his face as his head snapped toward Paul. "Recruiter? An Army recruiter?"

"Yeah, this guy, Sergeant Bennett." Paul shrugged as if it were trivial. "He tried to persuade Mikey to join. He even gave him his business card before he left. And Mikey, you're an idiot. You shouldn't have given him your full name. He's gonna look you up and call here all the time. Remember how often the phone rang when they tried to get me to join?"