Through the wall

IV

It was Friday, and he had just finished work. He typed the last word in the report and pressed Enter. He lowered his hands and rested them on the desk, staring at the wall. He wasn't quite sure what to do. It was the first time he was completely alone at home, and also the first time without Sammy since Nat had died two months ago.

His parents had decided to move back to the city to be closer. His mother said Sammy needed them, and deep down, he knew they did it for him too. They had taken her for the weekend under the pretext of shopping for her first year of primary school. She was much better; she no longer smiled as much as before, but at least she didn't cry every night. Letting her go had been hard because he didn't want her to feel abandoned, but he also needed that time to think and feel miserable without having to pretend everything was okay, for a change.

The house was a disaster. He got up and cleaned everything like an automaton. Then he collapsed onto the couch, staring at the ceiling. He thought about the plants; he hadn't even noticed if they were still alive. He stood up, "Let's water the plants," he told himself, and went out to the garden.

The plants were fine. It was amazing how nature always finds a way to survive. Water started to gush from the hose and splashed his feet. He felt at ease doing something he enjoyed again. He lifted his face to the sun and there, descending the terrace steps, he saw his "sweetheart." The boy smiled at him and waved, with that tender expression he always had. Only then did he realise he must have had a dazed look worthy of the sudden embarrassment he felt. A shiver ran down his spine, and he didn't know why until he saw it: a few steps above was his sister, "Vader," glaring at him with those hateful eyes she loved to give him. He lowered his head and continued watering. If looks could kill...

His "sweetheart." That's how Nat called the boy next door. Nat had known since the day they moved in. That afternoon when they had come into the house after the introductions, after he didn't want to talk about it for hours, she had looked him in the eyes and said, "Good thing you weren't supposed to like anyone again, that you had enough and blah, blah, blah." She had said it with a laugh, and he, of course, had denied it, but he couldn't hide anything from Nat.

Over time, he kept denying it and hiding it as much as he could, but she had a special knack for catching him looking over the wall while pretending to water the plants or taking out the rubbish just as Gun returned from university to coincide. He always tried to avoid the topic. It was pointless; there was no possibility that Gun and he could have anything. Not because the boy didn't reciprocate. Every time he saw him, his eyes lit up, and he gave him the most beautiful smile anyone, besides Sammy, had ever given him. He couldn't understand how such a lovely person could exist!

Regardless, things were fine as they were. Trying anything would complicate everything too much. He was happy like this: taking out the rubbish, getting his daily recharge, seeing his sunshine, and going back home to his daughter. The world could be better, but it also could be that he had never met his sweetheart. Not everything was so bad.

Until the day came when what he inevitably knew would happen, happened. He went out to take out the rubbish and Gun wasn't there. Time passed, and he didn't arrive. Uneasy, he went back into his house and sat at the dining table. Nat was watching a series, and Sammy was already in bed. She turned off the TV and sat across from him, at the other end of the table. She stretched out her hand and took his. She looked at him very seriously and said:

"Off, it's time we talked about this. You can't go on like this. We're friends... It won't kill you to admit that you are totally and completely in love with the neighbour."

She said nothing more, just looked at him and waited.

Damn it! Every time he thought about that conversation, the same thought crossed his mind: it seemed as if Nat knew she was going to leave them and needed to put things in order.