I'LL GIVE YOU FLOWERS EVERYDAY

𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝒊𝒕 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒔

"Why are you always making me wear flower crowns, Chay?"

Porchay just smiled. Seeing Kimhan wearing the flower crown he made for today is enough to make his day.

"And where do you get these flowers?"

He cannot tell him. He cannot tell Kimhan where he gets those flowers; where he grows those flowers.

"We have a garden at our house, remember? And besides, you're pretty when you wear it."

Kimhan scoffed. Pretty? He's pretty? How can he be pretty if he's someone whose hands were already stained by the blood of people he was forced to kill?

"I'm not pretty. Pretty is for the girls only."

"But to me, you're pretty, Kim."

Kimhan just shook his head sideways while smiling. He then reached for Porchay and ruffled his hair. The flower crown his best friend gave to him suits him better because Porchay is like a flower. He's pretty, he is bright and he glows under the sun. He is also cheerful, that is why Kimhan always loves being with him; being with his best friend.

"Hey, my hair!" Porchay complained while trying to grab Kimhan's hand. "It took me hours to fix this."

"Oh, my best friend is starting to get conscious with his looks." and Kimhan put his arm around Porchay's shoulder. "So, who's the lucky girl?"

"Lucky what?"

"Girl. Who's the lucky girl?"

Porchay rolled his eyes at Kimhan.

"Seriously Kim? Girls? Me?" and he pointed to himself. "You know I don't like girls."

Kimhan is aware of that; he just wanted to tease Porchay because he always gets red when he is happy, excited, shy or angry.

"I'm just kidding." Kimhan stood up, picked up his bag and straightened his crumpled pants.

"Where are you going?" asked Porchay.

Are you stupid Porchay? Why are you asking where Kimhan was going when you already know the answer?

Of course he'll go to his girlfriend; to the girl Kimhan is currently dating and getting to know more; to the girl Kimhan would give everything; do anything.

"I'm going to Ron. There's a newly opened arcade and she said she wanna check it out. Do you wanna tag along?"

"Oh, it's okay. I don't wanna disturb your date. If Ron sees how I'm better at playing games than you, she might regret having you as his boyfriend."

"Hahaha, you wish man."

"Hurry up then, bro. Ron might be waiting for you."

Kimhan bid his goodbye as he excitedly ran to the other building, to Ron who saw Porchay and waved at him.

She's pretty, a sweet girl and she also loves music as much as Kimhan loves it also. And Kimhan, oh, he looks so in love. You can see it in his eyes; how it softens at the sight of the girl she likes.

"What are you wearing babe?" Ron asked while looking at the flower crown Kimhan was wearing.

"Oh, this?" and Kimhan took it off. "It's a flower crown made of forget-me-nots."

And what Kimhan did next made Porchay's heart be torn in half. Kimhan delicately puts the flowers on Ron's crown; caressing her cheeks while saying she's the prettiest girl in the whole world; saying how much he loves Ron while kissing her forehead.

Porchay saw it all.

And it hurts.

Before the couple left, Ron again waved at Porchay; the other one returned the favor and smiled at her. But the truth is, behind that smile, Porchay is starting to feel a prick on his heart; he started to feel his chest tighten.

No, it's happening again. Porchay needs to leave now; he needs to run away quickly or else, someone might see; they might see him hurting.

It's a good thing there was a washroom nearby. Porchay immediately went inside one of the cubicles and locked it.

It hurts.

Flowers shouldn't be like this. Flowers should be delicate. Flowers should be something that represents love. Flowers shouldn't be hurting Porchay.

But it is hurting Porchay right now.

At first, it was just a petal or two but now; right now, Porchay almost covered the whole cubicle with petals. And he was coughing uncontrollably; shaking uncontrollably as tears escaped from his eyes.

It hurts.

Loving someone who doesn't love you back hurts.

Loving Kimhan hurts.

"How long are you gonna keep it a secret from my cousin, Chay?"

Porchay didn't need to go outside the cubicle to know who was outside. Just from the shoes Porchay can see through the gap of the wall and the floor, he already knew it was Macau.

"This is getting serious, you know." Macau remarked; ending it with a sigh.

Macau knocked on the door and asked, "Are you okay now?"

But Macau clearly knows Porchay is not okay. Since the day he realized his feelings for Kimhan, for his best friend, Porchay has never been okay.