I'LL GIVE YOU FLOWERS EVERYDAY

𝓘 𝓪𝓵𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝔂 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓲𝓽 𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓱𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓼

"Tulips?" Kimhan asks Porchay as he slowly takes the bouquet from his hands.

Another day, that means another episode of Porchay giving flowers to his best friend. Yesterday was a flower crown, today was a bouquet. And it's a big bouquet of tulips in different colors.

"You're growing tulips in your garden now?" He asks curiously because he knows that tulips don't usually grow in Thailand.

"Beats me." Porchay just shrugs his shoulders and takes a seat beside Kimhan.

Today was a bit gloomy as the gray clouds started to block the ray of sunshine. It might rain soon.

"But why tulips Chay?"

Because Kimhan knows what tulips means in the language of flowers. And Porchay giving him tulips only means one thing.

Porchay still likes him.

"Chay..." Kimhan called him out because Porchay went silent after his question.

Porchay also knows what Kimhan was trying to get into. And Porchay understands that Kimhan only sees him as his best friend.

"I know Kim, I know."

He knows; Porchay knows very well that Kimhan cannot reciprocate his love for him. He knows that no matter how many times Porchay says he loves Kimhan, the latter won't love him more than as best friends.

"But don't worry Kim, I won't demand anything from you. Just being your best friend, it's enough already."

Kimhan smiled as his eyes softened. Porchay is someone precious to him; someone very important in his life. But, it cannot be more than that. It cannot be more than being best friends.

"Oh, by the way, how's the progress of the song you're making?" Porchay suddenly asks; trying to change the topic of their conversation; trying to shake that bottling up of feeling rejected.

Because if he doesn't, flowers might bloom again. And it's not a sight for Kimhan to see.

"Are you interested in a collab?" Kimhan teasingly asks back because he knows Porchay; he won't say no to him.

Music is the reason why they became what they are right now. Music is what Kimhan and Porchay share. Music is what bonds them.

Kimhan looked at Porchay and chuckled. His best friend is always so excited everytime he makes new songs. And as Kimhan's best friend, Porchay has the super VIP pass to hear it for the first time.

"It's almost finished."

"Wow, that was fast."

And Kimhan snorted a tiny laugh; smiling widely as he shook his head.

"I know. Maybe it's because I found my muse."

Oh.

He gets it.

Porchay gets it.

He should be happy for his best friend but he cannot. He should be happy for Kimhan but he cannot; his heart won't let him.

The flowers won't let him.

"Oh, I just remembered, I need to buy something for Hia."

Excuses.

But he needs to.

He doesn't want to lie to Kimhan, but he needs to because it is starting again. He could feel it. It's starting again. He could feel it inside. He could feel something creeping in; grounding itself inside Porchay; growing its roots, stems, leaves and petals.

Porchay could feel the flowers again.

"I'll go with you." Kimhan said but Porchay disagreed.

He cannot let Kimhan see him suffering. But who is he to fool Kimhan? His best friend knows if he's feeling okay or not. Kimhan always knows if Porchay is feeling okay or not.

"Chay, are you sick?"

And the question started ringing in his ears. Did Kimhan notice already that there's something wrong with him?

"You look pale right now." He said as he tried to reach for Porchay's hand. But the other one was quick.

"I'm not sick Kim."

"But you're as white as a ghost."

"My skin's always fairer than yours. And I stayed up late last night because of the upcoming exams."

Lies.

"I'm not like a certain someone here who doesn't need to study because he's already a genius." And Porchay jokingly rolled his eyes at Kimhan and smiled at him just to make the other one stop asking too many questions.

"Wow, it isn't my fault I was born like this."

"What a sho-"

"Kiiiiiim!"

And the two of them looked at the way where the voice was coming from. They already knew who it was. Porchay already knew who it was and he didn't need to turn around just to make sure because just from Kimhan's reactions; his smiles and his eyes shining so bright, Porchay already knew who it was.

"Babe!" Ron exclaimed as she jumped into Kimhan's arms; hugging him so tight like she hadn't seen him in so many years.

"You're early." Kimhan said as he gave his girlfriend a kiss on the cheeks that made the other one giggle.

And made Porchay's heart brittle.

"I miss you already babe." Ron said; leaning her head against Kimhan's chest.

Porchay better leave. The longer he stays there- looking at Kimhan and Ron- will only make him suffer more.

"Uhm, Kim... I think I better leave you guys." Porchay said while trying to avoid eye contact with his bestfriend.

"Oh, you're already leaving Porchay? But Kim and I were planning to go to his studio. Aren't you gonna come? Kim said he'll let us listen to his new song before its release."

But Porchay could only smile.

"Come on Chay." Now it's Kimhan trying to convince him.

If he'll go, then he'll be able to listen to Kimhan's song before it is released. But if he'll go, that only means he needs to put up with the agonizing feeling that has been building up on him.

"O-okay. But I'm not gonna stay long, okay?"

Gosh, he hates himself even more now.

-

"Chay." Macau called and knocked on Porchay's room.

No one answered.

"Chay?"

But Macau is so sure Porchay is home. Porsche told him that Porchay is in their house. So why is Porchay not responding to his calls?

"Chay? Porsche told me to sleepover tonight so that you'll have company."

Still; no Porchay's answered and it is starting to make Macau worry.

"Chay? Hey! Are you asleep already?"

Silence.

"Chay! Hey Chay! Shit. Chay! Tell me you're okay!"

But Macau knows he is not.

Running down the stairs, Macau went to the kitchen counter to check the keys in the Kittisawadt household. Porsche once told him that the keys were kept in the fruit basket.

"Shit, Chay..."

And when Macau had finally opened the door, there he saw Porchay, lying on the floor, unconscious.

Lying on the bed of scattered petals of Bleeding Heart and Red Anemones on the floor.