Chapter 1

19 1 4
                                    

WARNINGS:

-Attempt at suicide

-Self harm
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Alex's POV:

As I looked down the cliff with my blade to my heart I only had one thought in my mind :"would it be better if I died and would everyone be happy I'm gone?" I thought as my hand trembled and my breathing picked up its pace along with my heart rate.

Right as I was about to stab my heart I sensed a vampire was in danger. "Fuck!"I cursed to myself in my head. I let out a long sigh before heading in the direction I sensed someone needed my help.

"So close, so fucking close!"I cursed to myself again just about reaching the vampire in desperate need of help now. I of course didnt say it outloud, if I did I already know some vampires might question my existence even more.

As I arrived humans were about to kill the vampire in distress so I quickly grabbed the chain that connects to my belt and blade , then slashed the humans head clean off.

Of course there were other humans so I quickly finished them off still angry from earlier. It wasn't always like this, when I was younger I had a better life , well alot better life actually.

Im 17 now and things changed alot since  the day my mother and siblings died. I still visit their graves of course but I keep getting less and less time to do that recently. The worst part about their death was that I had to watch it all happen at only the age of 5.

I just stood there unknowing of what to do while my family got killed by those wretched humans. About  a month or so after their death I met Kimbaru my snake. He is my best friend and I'm his best friend.

He has tried to help me with my problems and he has had a low success rate but its kinda helping.

I still want to kill myself every other day but that's life I guess. I have tried to kill myself 10+ times now I have almost succeeded 5 of those times. But someone or something stops me from doing it and I curse internally at myself for it.

As I walked back with Kimbaru my all black , mamba around my neck I couldn't help but go and see my siblings and mother. I sat down in front of their graves ,each carving a hole in my chest as I look at them and remember how painful it was to watch.

I try to keep an emotionless expression 24/7 because there's no point in expressing my feelings when all it does is piss off my father. I also act coldly towards everyone,  shutting them out every chance I get.

I dont want to get close to anyone because I'm afraid that something similar will happen. I cut myself to relieve my stress and pain. It works alot of the time but also doesn't. The way it works is simple.

Whenever I feel pain on my fiscal body it takes my mind off the mental pain and before I know it my arm is dripping blood down on my mother's grave. I quickly get bandages and wrap my arm up before anyone else sees.

Kimbaru won't say anything and besides only I can understand him so it makes it alot easier, most of the time he tries to stop me but it never works. I finish wrapping up my arm then head back to my home where I dread to be with my abusive father.

I thank myself I put down my sleeves because if my father found out I would be in alot of trouble. I have a hood that puts a blanket of darkness over my face so that no one can see it. I know I'm ugly but people commented I looked pretty when I didnt have my hood on, I know they were all trying to be nice and all but they seriously didnt need to lie to me.

When I walked into my home quietly my father was talking to someone that I didnt recognize. I took this opportunity to sneak away before he could see me. I went up to my room as quietly as possible,  trying not to disturb their conversation.

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