Sang e Marmar

14. Kabhi Tum Milo kabhi hum

Mera Ishq ho
Teri zaat ho
Phir husn e Ishq ki baat ho
Kabhi hum milain mulaqat ho
Kabhi tu ho chup
Kabhi hum dono ki baat ho.
Kabhi main tera kabhi tu Mera
Kabhi sohbatain....
kabhi ranjishain....
kabhi duriyan...
kabhi qurbatain.....
kabhi ulfatain....
kabhi jeet ho.....kabhi har ho....
kabhi yd ho...
Kabhi tera deedar ho.
Sirf Mera Ishq ho Teri zaat ho koi esi bhe mulaqaat ho.

*******

Bashar stood by the window trying to contemplate the past 10 years he spent under the same roof as her... what made him so unaware, so blind...so in himself...he is proud of his quality of identifying peoples intention in a single glance yet he failed here...

He rubbed his face as if trying to let go of the thoughts racing in his mind...he looked ahead at the night staring back at him mockingly..

He reminded himself that he don't love her... But some corner of his heart denied too...

If that's the case then why do I know what food she likes and what don't, why do I know that cold weather doesn't suit her...his heart questioned..

That's because we always eat on same table and live under the same roof and I observe..his mind countered.

Then why does I always recognize her in crowds..amongst so many people my eyes Always finds her way....his heart spoke again..

I didn't search for her in the crowd, usually when you love someone you always search for them I never..not with any intentions of sort..his mind countered..

Then why does I feel pain right every time I saw her tears filled eyes and those eyes.... His heart countered again..

The mind remain silent...no excuse were presented..he searched for it none came...

Then why do I soften my voice every time I talks to her  or about her although voluntarily or involuntarily...his heart countered..

Yet again mind remain silent..

It's a battle he has to fight with himself.. but like always he knew what he wants.. he knew what he gonna do might hurt her...or she might think that he misunderstood her intentions but he will do what's best for both of their sake..

He might not love her now but at this moment he realized that to him she is not like everyone else either maybe a little bit special just a little bit... At the moment.

It is the Intensity of love attracting each other igniting something...or providing a much needed spark.... Zohra's feelings hold the sincerity accompanied by intensity that worked as a spark, a lethal one showing the man before her his own heart ... sometimes a moment of realization is all that spark needs to bloom into beautiful shades of firework...

But it's still a spark... A beacon of hope... Something is always better than nothing at all...

******

Bashar woke up for fajr prayer…Sitting on the prayer mat he gazed at his raised hands. the only thing he can think of asking right now Is that his decision did not bring more misery to her. For the first time in his life he felt fear…fear for her, for the upcoming future, for his decisions…… Wrapping up the mat he went to freshen up.

Wearing a dark brown shalwar kameez and shawl that was neatly placed on his shoulder he got out of his room….sending Salam to his Tayi jaan and Ammi jaan who were currently rushing the servants to prepare breakfast..