From Darkness to Light: She Taught Me to Love Myself.

5: Gifts Won't Fix This

By the time Monday rolled around, I'd convinced myself that Niki was done trying. After a week of failed attempts to apologize—misguided notes, awkward conversations, and cringeworthy lunchroom encounters—I figured she'd finally given up.

But when I got to school that morning, I realized I couldn't have been more wrong.

Liv and I were walking toward my locker, casually chatting about her new favorite band, when I noticed something out of the ordinary. A group of students was huddled around my locker, whispering and pointing at something. My stomach tightened immediately.

"What's going on?" Liv asked, narrowing her eyes at the crowd.

"I have no idea," I muttered, though I had a sinking feeling I knew exactly what—or who—this was about.

As we pushed through the group, my breath caught in my throat. There, stacked against my locker, were bags upon bags of beautifully wrapped gifts. Some were huge, covered in glossy paper with elaborate ribbons. Others were smaller, but from the designer logos peeking out, I could tell they weren't cheap. It was like walking into a department store, and every single thing there was for me.

"What the hell?" Liv whispered, her eyes wide. "Ari, did you win the lottery and not tell me?"

I didn't have to ask who was responsible. I already knew.

I looked up, and sure enough, there was Niki, standing off to the side, nervously twisting her fingers. She met my gaze and stepped forward, a hesitant smile on her face.

"Ari," she started, her voice shaky but determined. "I... I got these for you."

I stared at her in disbelief. "What is all this?"

"I wanted to show you that I'm serious about apologizing," she said quickly, as if she was afraid I'd walk away before she finished. "I know I've screwed up, and I've been trying to make it right. But I thought... maybe this would help. To show you I care."

I blinked, my mind racing. This had to be some kind of joke, right? Who buys this many gifts to apologize?

I glanced down at the pile again, noticing things I'd mentioned wanting in passing, things Niki shouldn't even know about—an expensive set of headphones, a designer jacket I'd been eyeing for months, even a signed poster of my favorite band. And there, tucked into the bottom of one of the bags, were two VIP tickets to their upcoming concert.

I felt Liv nudge me, her eyes wide with disbelief. "Ari, this is insane."

I nodded slowly, my emotions tangled in knots. "Niki," I said, looking back at her. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to show you how sorry I am," she replied, her voice breaking slightly. "I know I can't undo what I did. But I thought... maybe if I gave you something you've always wanted, it would show that I'm serious about changing."

My heart clenched. I could see the sincerity in her eyes, but that didn't change the fact that this was completely over the top. She still didn't get it.

"Niki," I said, trying to keep my voice calm, "I can't take this."

Her face fell. "Why not?"

"Because you can't just buy my forgiveness," I replied, frustration creeping into my tone. "This isn't about stuff. You think giving me all these things is going to make me forget everything you did? That's not how this works."

Her eyes widened, and I could see the hurt spreading across her face. "I wasn't trying to buy your forgiveness," she said quietly. "I just wanted to do something big. Something that would show you I care."

"And I get that," I said, softening slightly. "But this is too much, Niki. You keep trying to fix things with grand gestures, but that's not what I need. I need you to actually listen to me."

She opened her mouth, as if to argue, but then closed it again. I could see her struggling to find the right words, her eyes filling with frustration and regret.

"I don't know how else to show you I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I thought... maybe this would be enough."

I sighed, feeling torn. Part of me wanted to believe she was doing this because she genuinely cared. But the other part—the part that had been hurt by her over and over again—knew that forgiveness wasn't something she could buy with gifts. It had to be earned, and that would take time. A lot more time than she seemed to realize.

"I know you're trying, Niki," I said finally, my voice soft but firm. "But this isn't the way to do it. You've hurt me in ways that can't be fixed with presents. It's going to take more than this to earn my trust back."

She looked down, her shoulders slumping in defeat. For a moment, I thought she might cry. But then she wiped her eyes quickly and nodded.

"I understand," she murmured, her voice barely audible. "I just... I didn't know what else to do."

I watched her for a moment, feeling the weight of everything that had passed between us. I could see she was genuinely sorry, but that didn't mean I could just forget the years of torment she'd put me through.

"I don't need any of this stuff," I said gently. "What I need is time. Time to see that you've actually changed, not just because you're trying to fix things right now, but because you really want to be different."

Niki nodded again, her gaze flickering to the pile of gifts before returning to me. "I get it. I do."

I could hear the defeat in her voice, and it tugged at something inside me. But I couldn't let her off the hook that easily. Not after everything.

"Just... start with being honest," I added. "And maybe stop trying so hard to fix everything overnight."

She nodded, her face flushed with embarrassment. "Okay. I'll... I'll do that."

Liv, who had been watching the whole thing silently, finally spoke up. "You've got a lot of work to do, Niki. Buying stuff might make you feel better, but it's not what Ari needs."

Niki bit her lip and nodded again, backing away slightly. "Yeah. I know. I'm sorry. I'll—I'll work on it."

"Here." I said as I handed her the bags, but with a move of her hands, she blocked it.

"No, keep it, even if you don't forgive me."

With one last glance at me, she turned and hurried down the hall, her figure growing smaller until she disappeared around the corner.

I stood there, staring after her, feeling the weight of everything she'd just tried to do. Part of me wanted to give her credit for the effort, but the rest of me couldn't shake the unease in my chest. She still had so much to prove, and no amount of gifts could change that.

Liv let out a breath. "That was... a lot."

"Yeah," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "It was."

We both stood there, staring at the pile of expensive things she'd left behind. But all I could think was how none of it mattered.

Because trust, forgiveness, and friendship couldn't be wrapped up in pretty paper and given as gifts. They had to be earned.