The Second Society

The Second Society

SAKURA-

"Congratulations! You're pregnant." that is the last thing I wanted to hear. But the "Fuck you" I blurted out was my cue to bolt from that uncomfortable doctor's office.

Yes, I was wrong. No, I wouldn't go and apologise. I decided not to embarrass myself any further as this was the third doctor - in a week!

They all conclude the same thing.

Pregnant.

Repeatedly, the tests were all positive and my mind is still in denial. This was not possible, not even a reality for someone like me.

All those at-home tests, and the blood results are all positive.

I tried to avoid doctors all my life, mostly because I rather not hear their clinical empathy or see their "This can happen to anyone" look on their face.

The worst time of my life was spending time at the doctors, it was the beginning of the end for my fantasy of a happy life. Always getting bad news.

We all have those thoughts, wondering and lingering in our mind once we find the right person. Whatever "right" really means at the time of our lives when we meet them, learn to live by their side and can't imagine our life without them.

But, for me, that ended two years ago.

My feet feel heavy, but I still stride towards the office, all I can do is repeat my new and favourite way to cope with my current denial.

Work until I drop.

However, I know as I type away on my computer, sweating and stressing, those curious eyes are on me. Again. I love my job, and I love getting enough pay to live comfortably and safe enough for my independence, aside from needing the job to continue this charade.

Ever since I began sporting these black pumps and the lovely work appropriate clothing I have learned to use on my favour as part of a management team, and getting people to finally take me seriously, I am a new person.

Don't get me wrong, I still have those washed down and well-worn overalls and mountain boots I keep for those days I want to feel in touch with the old me. Sadly, those moments keep feeling like miles away and I am moving so fast that I might crash at any moment.

I can't go back; I can't knock at my parents door after I had exploded on them a year ago and much less drag my ass to his front porch – that I know has lilies planted on cute, coloured pots lining the entry – and yell at him for all those painful years I had worked so hard to forget.

Also – therapy is expensive.

I hated his house; it was still the same as it always has. Every now and then I hope it becomes vacant or a new owner would take over – destroy the previous essence of the house and build a new one.

But that was just wishful thinking. If I wanted to forget and get over the past – I had to push those thoughts and face the facts.

The reality.

I became my own person, turned my career around and put a fire under my ass to push forward into the corporate world to gain the job I needed.

Me, Sakura Haruno, the loser from Little Konoha and laughingstock of my hometown, has now ruined her life again by choosing to get drunk and shoot my shot with a man I knew I would never see again.

Me, pregnant...

A pregnant woman who told the third doctor in a row to go fuck themselves and ran out of the hospital like a coward.