Mother of the Spiders: Octagon

8. Caroline (Thread One)

[Each chapter of Octagon corresponds to a song that inspired the shape of the character arc and/or story arc. You can listen to each chapter's "song" to gain further insight into the world-building of Gossamer Loom and the people who live there. I definitely had fun listening to these songs while I was writing the novel. Chapter 8's "Formation Song" is "The Killing Moon" by Echo & The Bunnymen.]

Caroline Stronghold sat on the edge of her bed at Kane Hospital, eyes lingering on the small, eight-sided window just below the ceiling. The psych ward was always dim, even on the brightest days, and she'd often wished for a room with more light. But today, the faint, grimy glow creeping through the window was enough. It meant the world outside still existed.

Someday, she'd get out. But today, she was still trapped. Still under his control.

Dr. Elwood Kane.

The man whose family had owned the hospital for generations. The man who oversaw her ward. The man who had the power to keep her locked up forever, playing his sick game. And nobody but her could see it.

Caroline glanced around her room. It was just a vacant box; a bed and a chair. No comfort, no warmth. It was as empty as it had been when she first arrived. The thought made her snicker; she'd put on quite the show when they first brought her in, thrashing and screaming, convinced this was all some terrible mistake!

But they had been right—the ones who had called her crazy.

She was.

The visions... the voices... they were tell-tale signs of schizophrenia, she had come to learn...

But before she had arrived at Kane Hospital, Caroline used to call them "the spiders."

For years, she had believed they were real. These spiders, the voices in her mind, made her feel alive. She had believed she needed them to survive. They gave her courage, made her fearless. She had never been afraid to stand up for herself when the spiders were whispering in her ear. She had gotten better grades, pushed herself harder, become someone who demanded to be seen.

With the spiders, Caroline had been unstoppable.

NO!

Her nails dug into her scalp as she rocked back and forth.

STOP IT!

She couldn't let herself think like that anymore. She couldn't afford to. The spiders were the problem. She was learning to live without them. She had to.

It had been two and a half years.

The doctors had promised her it would only take four months. Maybe five. But Caroline had made it hard on herself; she had refused to let Dr. Kane fuck her.

Elwood Kane was the kind of bastard hypocrite sociopath who needed power over people. Caroline wasn't sure he'd know who he was without an opportunity to exercise control and the freedom to abuse it at will.

But for some reason, he had this great fucking reputation! Add it to the stock pile of reasons Caroline questioned her own sanity; she was the only person who seemed to have a problem with the kind of attention he gave her.

Crazy girl. Crazy girl who cries rape!

No, I'm not! That asshole has tried it all on me!