𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐊 | 𝐃𝐚𝐛𝐢 ꨄ︎

11. Lost

Chapter 11: Lost

Touya was your best friend. The one and only best friend you had growing up. So when you received the news of his death, it damaged your mental health a lot.

Especially because of how Endeavor blamed it on you.

Kneeling down on the corner of the room, you placed your hands on your shoulders, calming yourself down.

Your gut was right from the very beginning. From the moment you discovered that Dabi's quirk can harm himself, you knew that he could be Touya. 

He has to be. Those azure blue eyes, those flames in the most beautiful shade of blue, those scars…

You hoped that you're mistaken. Even if it seems impossible, and that you thought that you're being delusional. It was real all along. 

He is indeed Touya.

Because if you survive that forest fire, then he definitely must've survived too.

No wonder why you always feel a sense of familiarity whenever you're with him. Because he's Touya. 

Wasted potential. 

What he said about you stabbed through your heart. You couldn't stop thinking about the past. Would everything be different if you acted differently?

Toga knelt down and you felt her embrace. Mixed emotions stirred through you. Hatred, anger, denial, you have no idea what to feel.

You hate this.

All these years, Endeavor blamed you for Touya’s death. But it turns out he's still alive.

You couldn't stop thinking about what Dabi—Touya had told you back there.

After a while, Toga decided to give you some space and you drifted into a deep dreamless sleep.

–

Kurogiri brought you guys back to the hideout after the catastrophe that had happened.

They must've known what had happened by the way they stare at you. Everyone’s injured badly, and you kind of feel bad for them since you didn't have the energy to heal them.

Shigaraki agreed to give you a break until you're mentally ready to come back. But then again, when will you ever be mentally ready again? After everything that happened? Nearly dying, then finding out Dabi’s real identity?

You don't even think you could work with the League anymore after this.

Your eyes scan the hideout. Dabi—Touya’s nowhere to be found. 

“He went back to his place.” Toga started. Ah, she seems to always know what you're thinking. You let out a sigh. The tears felt dry on your face and your eyes felt puffy from all the crying last night. You have no idea how long you've been crying.

Everything's too much for you to handle. You can't accept the truth.

“Will you be okay? Big sis?” Toga asked you. You didn't say anything back. You just nodded and hoped that your life will get better eventually.

When you arrived home, your house still looked the same as it was. Thank the gods your uncle didn't break into your home again.

Suddenly, the picture frame displayed in your living room caught your attention. It was a picture of you and Touya.

 The sight of the picture is already making you want to have a mental breakdown again. You quickly collected all the pictures that contained Touya and hid it away.

After disposing of all those picture frames, you feel exhausted again. You headed to your bedroom and lay down on the bed.

Closing your eyes, you let yourself drift into a deep sleep. All you want to do is to go to sleep and hope that this is all just a bad dream.

But it wasn't. Everything’s real.

It was half past midnight already when you woke up and it seemed like you couldn't fall asleep anymore. 

Your limbs feel heavy as you make your way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water to drink.

Your heart still feels heavy, knowing who Dabi really is now. And for some odd reason, it feels like you're being watched.

The thought quickly died down when you felt your stomach grumble. You haven't eaten since all of that happened last night.

Cooking at this hour is definitely not happening. You made your way to the cabinet and swung it open, hoping to see some instant noodles for you to cook or atleast something to eat.

But there wasn't anything. 

Turning yourself invisible, you went outside to get some air. The streets of Yokohama is strangely empty tonight.

Seeing the convenience store not far away from you, you decided to head in. This is one of the best parts of being able to turn invisible. You get to do anything you wanted to.

The lady at the cashier was reading a book when you entered the store. She must've thought it was the wind so she went back to her own business.

This was definitely not your first time stealing stuff from stores. Heading to the aisle where they store the onigiris, you picked the one that looks most appetizing. 

You took one bite and the hunger faded away. As you walked out the convenience store, you threw away the onigiri.

Words can't describe what you are feeling at the moment. The abandoned building seems like a good place to go.

You need to let it out.

It's been a while since you've last stepped foot onto this rooftop. On days like this, you find yourself standing on top of the ledge, thinking about how unfair life could be sometimes.

“Please.” You don't normally ask God for help. But if God was real, this wouldn't have been happening right now. “Let this all be just a dream.”

Then you scream, letting it all out. You didn't stop until you noticed someone's already standing beside you.

“Oh.”

Someone's here. 

Hawks.

“Rough day, huh?” His wings flapped and the next thing you, he's standing next to you on the ledge. “Are you okay?”

You quickly turn around when you feel a lump in your throat, trying your best to not let the tears fall. Don't cry, don't cry. This isn't the right time to cry.

“No,” You started. “And I don't think I'll ever be. I just lost a person that was important to me.”

a/n: i'm still alive barely. i fucked up my life so bad but here's an update :') -m