Mialotte

Pills and potions

T.W⚠️: Emotional topics,smoking,vaping,drinking,drugs,self-harm.

Chars POV: I rushed to sit down I went to the lounge and just put the tv on and watched 9-1-1. Season 8 is coming out soon i can't wait! But I wasn't calming down was she mad at me did she hate me ?!?! Mia walked into the room and sat down next to me I could see her scars from the last time she did it and 4 fresh ones. Fresh? Oh Mia why didn't she say anything to me? Why didn't I say anything to her ? She must be thinking I can't trust her but I can I just well.. she has her own battle. She turns to me and says "baby why didn't you say anything I could have helped you." I didn't know what to say I just said "you were struggling to and you didn't come to me so I thought you wouldn't want to to be a burden." She replies "no baby I wasn't struggling I did this because I was worried about you" I just say "but what about all the smoking you have been doing you've been through like a pack a week this month thats giving signs your not okay as you only smoke when you've had a bad day or stressed and you've been smoking more than one a day" she just said she was stressed. I mean I know how much i say I hate smoking and it's disgusting which it is I have been vaping for a few days and it does help. I can stop anytime I just don't want to I need it right now to help me cope. I haven't told anybody about my struggles but I was going to try and tell Majorie as she is my boss and kind of needs to know especially as I work in childcare. But oh well, she'll know now. I just can't stop thinking of wanting to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. Was just repeating in my head but I didn't want to die or Maybe I did. Did I ?

Mia's POV: I was extremely worried about char and right to be now I have found this. After our talk in the lounge I was worried again I just told her it was cause I was stressed but that's a lie I guess I am struggling but I don't know why. I don't want her to not trust me but I also now things I don't trust her so Maybe now she doesn't trust me anymore. Or did she not trust me in the first place? All these things running through my head I didn't want them there I was going on a walk. I was on my walk and I decided to have a cigarette I lit it and started smoking. I saw autumn shit I thought she didn't know I started smoking about she thought I quid 2 years ago but I just said I did. I just turned around and started walking away I didn't think she saw me but she then shouted my name to get my attention I took one last puff and stomped it out as quick as I could and turned around. She just looked at me with her death stare and said "why was there smoke coming out of your mouth?" I replied "umm... it's cold out today!" She looked at me and said "Mia it's 24 degrees it's not cold" I thought the autumn weather is really letting me down. I just said "ummm..." I had to think of something quick what do I do? She deepened her voice and said "Amelia" I knew then I had to say something so I just said "uhh I was vaping" her eyes twitch. She kisses her teeth. The words "show me" fly out of her mouth. A state of panic and worry waved over me. I said "uh- I uh- well- you see- I" she interrupts "Mia were you smoking again char already told me your getting bad again I need to know is it going to get as bad as it was in secondary?" "No no I replied "I just have a cigarette now and then I'm sorry I know i told you I quit but it's just stress and I am kind of struggling as well and so is ch" I stopped myself before I told something about char that needs to be said by herself. "You mean char?" She asked. I looked up in shock "how do you know that did she tell you?" "No but it's not exactly hard to spot she's gone a lot more quiet just like the first time she was struggling but the only thing different this time is that she's been hesitating when going to pick up a child and has walked in to the office one to many times with something to say but always just saying she forgot and me and Marjorie could tell she didn't forget we were going to have a meeting about it tomorrow we were just going to call her into the office and ask what was going on," as she was speaking I felt tears roll down my face she was trying to get help and I was oblivious for weeks. I can't even imagine what she is feeling right now. Oh god I had to get home. I said "thanks Autumn and yes please do continue with the meeting pan but I have to get back now we have been chatting for about 40 mins." She said "bye Mia see ya soon." I dashed home as quick as I could worried about char the whole time. I got home cooked food and dropped it into char in the lounge She was watching 9-1-1 which was her comfort show so I knew she was just chilling out and didn't want to talk about anything. So I just left it and went to bed I said to myself in the mirror. "I won't relapse. I won't relapse. I won't relapse" and got undressed went down to the lounge gave char a kiss on the forehead and made her hot chocolate then went off to bed.