Twenty-Six

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⚠️suicide attempt⚠️

Once I'd made the decision to die, my body came alive.

All the pain from the cuts, bruises, burns and whatever else these bastard doctors have done to me floods my senses.

I try and ignore it as long as I can, but after a particularly deep cut, I can't help the small noise that comes from me. I pray that they don't hear it, but from the gleeful look in their eyes, I know that they did.

"Look who is finally awake," one of them says joyfully.

"We have missed your screams," the other one says. This one I know. She's the one who delivered my daughter. The one who took her away to be killed.

"What are the odds," I mutter.

She grins, "so you do remember me. I was beginning to wonder."

"Like.. I could forget.. the woman who stole my child," I hissed at her.

"Stole? No," she chuckles. "I merely recovered Red Room property."

"She was mine," I tell her. "Not.. the Red Room's."

Her hand goes to my face, stroking my cheek almost gently, "my dear, we all belong to the Red Room."

"Not for long," I grin. Slipping my hands from the restraints, which were surprisingly loose, I sit up on the table and grab a scalpel that's on a tray next to me.

"Don't do that," she warns me.

Holding the scalpel to my wrists I ask, "why not?"
Her mouth opens and closes a few times, like she's really trying to come up with a reason that I should live. When it's obvious that she doesn't have one, I press the blade into my wrist and cut from my wrist to my elbow, digging in as deeply as I can.

Dropping the scalpel, I lay back on the table, watching my shadows seep out of the cut and swirl around me.

Vaguely I'm aware of the doctors trying to stop the bleeding, but as everything faded away, I know they can't.

And that makes me smile.

Until I wake up in another lab, strapped to another table with thick gauze around my arm. Looks like I was still at 99%. Or would it be 98% now, since I failed twice?

Either way I was pissed.

Especially when Dreykov's voice floats over to me, "stupid girl. What were you thinking?" He comes over to me, a needle in one hand and he jams it into the vein on my unhurt arm.

I watch him run a tube from me over to another table where a little girl lays. "I was thinking that it would piss you off if I died ahead of schedule," I tell him, my eyes still locked on the girl. Her dark hair is fanned around her pale face and her chest rises and falls rapidly, like she's having trouble breathing.

He connects the tube to the girl and my blood starts to flow into her, "well since you are so determined to bleed yourself dry, I've had to move up my schedule."

"Oops," I mutter, starting to feel light headed. "Why.. her? The others.. didn't.."

"Why her?" He repeats softly. "Because she's yours. By putting your blood into the child, we can transfer your gifts to her," he says proudly. "She has already excelled in her trainings. She may even be better than Natalia and Yelena combined." He strokes her head affectionately as he speaks, "she is nearly perfect. Once she has your gifts, she will be the perfect Widow."

I stopped listening when he said my child. The child he had told me was dead.

The sight of his hands on her made my vision go red and my blood boil. I felt the sedative burn out of my blood and my powers come alive. He was still by her, my daughter, and could easily kill her if I attacked now. So I waited, I let him talk and when he finally moved away from her a few minutes later, I flashed out of my restraints to my daughters side. I yanked the tube out of my arm and pulled hers gently out, bending her arm to stop the blood flow.

When I looked up he was watching me, but not in fear. That pissed me off even more, he should be very afraid. I stepped towards him and felt the same rush of power that I felt when Wanda had been hurt. With each step towards him it grew, and the closer I got the more his stupid smile faded. He made a break for the door but a whisp of magic caught him and lifted him off the ground. I brought him to me and he finally looked afraid.

"You can't hurt me," he said, "I made you. You'd be nothing if it wasn't for me. I made you special, I gave you your powers. They belong to me."

He really didn't know when to shut up, "In a way I suppose you did. I guess I should thank you actually, because if it wasn't for you, I never would have found a family who loves me. And as for my powers," I smirked, "if you want them back you can have them." And I sent a blast of magic into him and funneled all my rage into it. It filled him up and he started to glow brighter and brighter and then he began to scream.

And it was beautiful. Then his skin melted away and he fell into a sludgy puddle on the floor.

That was less beautiful but totally worth the grossness.

I went back to the table with my daughter on it and picked her up gently. She made a little sound but stayed asleep. She was light and that concerned me, how heavy were kids supposed to be? I had no idea but I would find out.

I carried her out of the room just as an explosion ripped through the compound, some heavy metal music blasting through the intercom system.

Ray? Wanda's voice comes through strong, like she's right next to me. Please tell me that you're in there.

I'm here, I answer.

It's about time, Yelena adds. We've been looking for you for weeks.

Sorry, I tell them sincerely. What's going on up there?

Stark, they both answer.

Follow the screams, Yelena tells me with an odd glee in her voice.

Dust rained down in us and I made a cocoon around us. Heading towards the explosion, I get us out of the compound and out into a body strewn field. The Avengers were locked in a battle with what was left of the Hydra soldiers and Widows.

Some soldiers saw me and started to shoot my way and I blasted them away. How dare they shoot at a child?

My rage returned and my magic went wild like it had a mind of its own. It destroyed soldiers left and right, I hardly had to think about it. Before long I had cut a swath through the soldiers and stood by my friends. When the soldiers realized they were losing they started to run back into the compound, but that just wouldn't do.

They all had to pay.

I waited until they had made it in and then I brought the mountain down on top of them.

I smiled as they screamed as they were crushed. I don't know how long I stood there just watching the carnage, but long enough that the girl in my arms woke up. She made a noise that drew my attention and I looked down into her little blue eyes that were looking at me.

And they were afraid.

That snapped me out of it. I let my magic go and felt it drop away and I was me again. "It's ok little one," I told her. "You're safe, I promise." And I would give my life to keep that promise if need be.

A hand on my arm pulled my attention from the girl and I looked up and saw Wanda. She was looking at me with an awed expression, "let's go home Ray."

"Home?"

She nods, "home."

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