IM BACK ON MY BULLSHIT
———
Captain: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM? HE COULD HAVE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS, HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!!!
Veteran: Uh, what's going on?
Player: I killed a moth
———
Engineer: I guess my brain's just really big
Gnome: What else is really big?
Engineer: I thought you'd never ask
Engineer: I have this huge Pokémon collection, I have five Charizards—
———
The Gentleman: Mr Cheese, did you buy eggs like I asked?
Mr Cheese: Even better!
The Gentleman: What did you—
Mr Cheese: *holding a chicken* Her name is Fluffy
———
Bro: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight
Stoner: But are you shuffling?
Bro: Everyday
Ninja: What language are you two speaking
———
The Gentleman: (ordering coffee) I'd like a light roast
Veteran: Your top hats suck
———
Blue, placing a card: Ace of spades
Veteran, placing a card: Uno
Captain, placing a card: Go fish
Mr Cheese, dramatically placing a card: Pikachu, I choose you!!!
Player: WHAT ARE WE PLAYING?
Player: AND WHY AM I LOSING?
———
Player: The Gentleman doesn't look happy
Veteran: That's his happy. He's just a bitch
———
Engineer: Coca-Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it's doing to your body
Veteran: Pfft, getting rid of the rust, idiot
Engineer: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!
Captain: Hm... I've been drinking soda for years and my body's rust-free... Not sure where you're getting your facts from...
———
Player: I'm the smartest person in my friend group
Blue: You hang out with Captain, Mr Cheese, The Gentleman, and Veteran...
Blue: It's not as high a compliment as you think
———
*playing chess*
Engineer: *knows how to play, easily beats everyone*
The Gentleman: *doesn't know how to play, wins anyway*
Veteran: *doesn't know how to play, loses*
Player: *knows how to play, loses to those who don't*
Captain: Actually, you can't do that because I said so
Mr Cheese: They named a board game after cheese?
———
Captain: Alright, crew! If you were a fruit, what would you be and why?
Player: Well—
Mr Egg: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group
Captain:
Mr Egg:
Everyone:
Veteran: Definitely banana
———
Player: Could you be any more annoying?
Mr Cheese, episode 12: Thought you'd never ask
———
Captain: Advice of the day— if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of the color, they are a certified nerd
Engineer: That's untrue. You have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can't just say blue because there's more than one blue
Captain: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd
———
Mr Cheese: Hey are you alright with swearing? Asking for a friend
Mr Egg: Uh, yes?
Mr Cheese: Bitch
———
Veteran: You ever get so tired that you start seeing spiders?
Player: Me when I take 17 Benadryl and start seeing Novisor
Veteran: NO WHO?
Player: Oh is this not a safe space suddenly
YOU ARE READING
AUL THINGAMAJIGS (CONTINUATION)
Fanfiction...I thought I was over this fandom. Sigh, here we go again. I swear I tried to find the artist for the cover but I couldn't.
