From Ending to Beginning

Chapter One: Departure

"Are you certain you feel well enough to leave?"
"Positive, just like my attitude."
Dr. Thorn narrowed his eyes and placed his elbows on his knees. He was trying to get down to her level, one of his many noticeable tactics to trick her into opening up to him. She suspected that the only reason he had elbow patches were from how often he performed this move.
"You're deflecting, again," he stated.
She restrained herself from rolling her eyes and tried to give the most convincing smile she could. "Look," she said, "I am positive. I feel so much better now than when I first came here, I promise."
"You came here less than two weeks ago."
"Now you're deflecting."
Dr. Thorn frowned and his brow furrowed with slight annoyance. He really didn't like it when she smart-mouthed him, but she guessed that, to him, it was a vast improvement from when she had first come to Restwood.
"I just want to be sure you have improved," he said. "We've had more pre-releases that have relapsed than I'm comfortable with."
"I can promise you that I'm not one of those," she said "I honestly do feel better. I just want to get back to whatever normalcy I have left. I want to see my family, go to school, catch up with my friends---".
"Your parents knew when they committed you that we have a strict policy on outside interaction."
Her smile dropped for a split second before she regained her composure, "I know," she said. "Which is why I've been doing everything you said, taking my pills, eating more, just so I could get out as soon as possible. I want to try to feel better again."
Dr. Thorn ran his tongue over his teeth, clearly she was making him consider more seriously than she had been a few minutes ago. "Look," he said, bending even lower and staring into her eyes, "I want you to be released as quickly as you can but I just can't be sure that now is the right moment. We've barely begun to crack the surface of what issues you may be facing and I worry that this treatment is only temporary in your mind. It takes time to heal, time that you have not had."
She put on the most convincing sympathetic stare. "I understand, Doctor," she said "I just feel that it would be easier for me to adjust if I was in a familiar environment. I think that being home can help me."
She took a deep breath, as if the next thing she was going to say would pain her, "If I promise to take my meds, visit a doctor, and check back in every month or so, will you let me leave?"
Dr. Thorn intertwined his fingers and blew out a slight breath.
Victory.
"Very well," he said, clamping his hands to the side of his chair and standing. "I'll call and tell your parents to come as soon as they can."
She stood up and smiled even larger at him, "Thank you so much, Doctor. You have no idea how much this means to me."
His mouth quirked up at the corners and he held out his hand. "It was a pleasure to work with you," he said as he shook her smaller hand. "I hope that I never have to see you in these halls again."
She stepped towards the door and opened it, the opaque glass giving view to a clear clean hallway. She looked back at him with as much happiness as she could muster, "I'll go pack my things then," she said ducking into the corridor. "Good-bye, Dr. Thorn." She walked away swiftly, not looking behind her.
As soon as she left, the smile fell from the Doctor's face. He had learned so little about her from their time together, it seemed as if she had gone through their sessions together like routine, knowing what was expected of her and complying to everything he suggested. She had grazed through the stages of grief almost methodically, textbook. She was either an extremely compliant patient or a very good liar and actress.
He turned toward his desk and reached for his phone to dial her parent's number. As he pressed it to his ear and heard the ringing tone he glanced towards the door again, where she had vanished. He hoped he was not making the wrong decision.
"Good-bye, Joy".

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Joy stood outside the grayish buildings, hugging her arms to her chest. It was cold and the snowfall that had occurred two days ago had still not vanished. The cold lingered with the snow. At least the dirty whiteness managed to make the buildings around her look less dingy and dark.
As mental institutions went, this place was definitely on the list of the more depressing ones. Unfortunately, the depressing outside appearance of the buildings reflected the inside all too well. Restwood specialized in cases of severe depression, and because it was affordable and within 100 miles, here was where her parents had sent her.
She was waiting for them now on the stone entranceway to the main building. They had called a few minutes ago to say that they were not far off and would be there soon. Her duffle-bag sat partially in the snow next to her, all her parents would have to do is go inside and check her out while she loaded her bag into the car.
Joy felt the prickling sensation of being stared at; she shivered but ignored it. Here there were always attendants watching patients or patients watching other patients. It was nearly impossible to travel around the facility without detection or observation and she had tried, hard.
Within five minutes though, her parents appeared at the end of the driveway, headlights blazing and wipers swishing. They pulled up to the entrance and parked the car along the granite curb. Her mother was the first out of the car, moving from the driver's side to the slick road. She was the more sure-footed of the two. Her father attributed that to her Minnesota upbringing, Joy merely suspected that she was part snow leopard. Her father exited from the passenger's side and gripped the frame of the car firmly. She could barely see him through the layers of clothing he had piled on but she could definitely see her mother's shape from her heavy long coat.
They saw her for the first time as they neared the door to the institution. Their faces broke into smiles and they rushed to embrace her. Her father skidded slightly but managed to trap her just as effectively as her mother. Joy did her best to hug them as hard as she could and put her biggest smile on.
"I missed you," she whispered into their coats.
"We missed you too, sweet pea," Ms. Wilson said and clutched her tighter.
"Christmas just wasn't the same without you," said Mr. Wilson. "I knew we couldn't decorate the tree without your help."
"Did they have a tree here that you could help with?" Ms. Wilson asked facing her daughter with concern.
"They had a tree," Joy said, "They just didn't let any of the patients help decorate it. You know, with the iron hooks and all".
Her parents both paled slightly and Joy hoped she hadn't said anything too incriminating. They needed to believe that she was better.
"I mean, it was fine," she said quickly, "They didn't have the same ornaments we do, so I thought 'what's the point'? I could just do it next year. I'm going to have a lot more trees to decorate."
Her parents visibly relaxed at her additional comment. They were so easy to read it was almost pitiable. She had years of practice of saying the right thing to them, they were going to be a piece of cake compared to Dr. Thorn.
"Are these all of your things?" her father asked as he stared at her duffle bag.
"Yeah," Joy said, hoisting it up on her shoulder. "Lucky I didn't stay her for too long or I'd have more things to carry to the car."
"Oh don't be silly," her father said reaching for her bag's strap "I can carry it to the car".
No, no, no. This is not how this was supposed to work.
She clutched her strap tighter. "I can do it myself, Dad. I'm not a little kid."
"Nonsense," he said, snatching her bag from her and heading towards the car.
"Alright," her mother said, glowing from the family reunion. "I'll go check you out and collect your medication, you and your father can warm up the car for me." She turned on her heel and headed quickly to the building, clearly she wanted to leave as soon as possible.
This is really not how Joy wanted the pick up to go down. She was supposed to get the keys and load it alone. Both of her parents were supposed to check her out. Nothing was going according to plan.
It's fine, she thought, I have time, I have lots of time. She steeled herself and walked to where her father was waiting for her.
"Think you want to drive home?" Her father joked as he cautiously crept into the passenger seat.
"Now you're being silly," Joy teased lightly and opened the backseat door.
As her father began to talk about Christmas she strapped herself in. The car was barely heating up again when her mother returned. "All set," her mother said as she passed a package to Joy's father. She turned back towards Joy and repeated, probably verbatim: "You're to take two a day, once at breakfast and once at dinner. The prescription runs out in two weeks. When you run out of pills we'll receive some more by mail."
Joy turned the corners of her mouth up slightly and nodded in a very agreeable fashion. "Great, I'll try to remember."
Ms. Wilson started up the car and turned toward the exit. Just as they cleared the driveway it began to snow.

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"Its exactly the same as you left it," her mother said as they climbed the stairs to Joy's room. "We didn't want to make it seem like a shock when you came back."
"Mom, it's fine," Joy said calmly, "I know you and Dad are trying your best to make everything as comfortable for me as possible."
"Damn right," she heard her father mumble as he lugged her duffle bag up the stairs behind them.
She saw her mother throw a stern silent look at her father out of the corner of her eye, but Joy did her best to ignore it. She needed to act like everything was okay.
When they reached the top of the landing, Joy turned to the right and swung open the door to her room. It appeared untouched, her yellow walls still covered with posters and her laptop plugged in the exact same place she had left it. Her father put the duffle bag down just inside of the room and her parents paused outside of the door.
"Dinner will be ready soon," her father said "You should come down to eat when you're ready. We have leftover Christmas ham if you're interested..."
"Thanks, Dad," Joy said warmly and hugged him again. "I'll be there as soon as I unpack my stuff."
After a few moments he disentangled himself from the hug and walked down the stairs with a slight spring in his step. Her mother hugged her again before going out to the landing again. "It really is wonderful to have you home, Joy," she said and began to walk down the stairs.
Joy stood there silently until she was certain they were both in the kitchen. Then she quietly closed the door and crept across her room till she reached her dresser. She reached down and pulled open the second drawer searching through her sweaters until her fingers clasped around a small wooden box. She sighed with relief and pulled it out.
It wasn't until she opened it that she realized it was empty. Cursing silently she threw it onto her bed in frustration and took a second look at her room. She walked over to her desk and yanked her drawers open. Every pen, every sharpener, every pair of scissors had been removed. She looked over at the poster of space hanging over her desk. It was now stuck to the wall with tape rather than tacked. Every sharp object had been removed from her room. It was essentially baby-proofed.
Joy groaned in frustration and fell gracelessly onto her bed, curling up into a ball. She had concentrated so hard on leaving Restwood she hadn't stopped to think about what would happen if she got home. She felt the hotness of tears prick her eyes but she held them back. Her parents couldn't know she was crying. So she chocked back her sobs and held it all in.
Unfortunately for Dr. Thorn, Joy was a very good actress.