Ahoy

Chapter 8: Sandy's Dome

Lying awake in my bed, looking up at the moon glistening through the old porthole in my room, gently illuminating the trinkets and photos I had on my dresser. I couldn't sleep with the knot in my stomach, twisting and turning like that thing from Alien. What the fuck did Squidward mean by , "I just thought your standards were better." How does he even know I'm gay? I-I mean I'm not, or, I don't know. I just couldn't relax enough to sleep with the racing thoughts, I HAD to call Sandy.

Ring Ring.....

Ring Ring.....

Ring---"Sandy Cheeks speaking."

"S-Sandy?" I sheepishly asked, tears flowing into my mouth, gargling my speech. 

"Spongebob?"

"Sandy, can I see you?"

"Oh Spongebob, I already-" I shouldn't have been calling her. We cut contact already.

"No Sandy, please, it's not that I just-" I began to ugly cry harder into the phone.

"Come over Spongebob." She said with a warm, caring tone.

And with that, I wrapped my blanket around me like a cape and was whisked away into the nighttime like a leaf in the wind, before hitting the side of Sandy's dome like a bug.

Sandy quickly ushered me inside and filled my helmet with some water. I looked around while coming in. Sandy looked great. She seemed to have everything figured out after our breakup. I know it was a while ago, but look at me, a bumbling mess who can't even tell left from right, needing advice from my ex. But before getting too deep in my head, Sandy sat me down and asked, "Are you okay Spongebob? What's going on?"

I sniffled, "I just..." I stared into space, speechless, while thousands of thoughts and issues and loopholes whizzed past my brain. So many thoughts, I didn't even know where to start.

"Sandy I, I did something... I don't know how to feel. I don't know.."

Sandy's expression relaxed slightly. Going from concerned and sharp, to a more welcoming look, as if she already knew what I was going to say.

"Sandy, why exactly did we break up?"

"Oh Spongebob." She gently scooped up my hand and looked me in the eyes. "We broke up because I could tell you had.. something.. on your mind."

"What? What does that mean?"

"Spongebob, I don't want to say because I can't put words in your mouth, you'll understand I promise."

"Am I... gay?"

Sandy stared intensely at me for a moment. Then started to laugh. I was offended before she stopped and asked, "Spongebobg, I think you are!"

"What, WHAT? Wait, how? I don't know if I am!"

"Spongebob slow down. Just think, you have never really shown me much romantic affection. You never really liked kissing, or hand holding, or cuddling, or sex even. I could tell there was something else you wanted. At first I thought you just wanted another woman. But then, over time, I could tell it was because you had something deeper to work out inside."

I didn't know how to feel about what she was saying to me. She said so much, yet so little. How did first Squidward, now Sandy, know I'm gay before I do?

"How do I know?" I asked.

"Well, I don't know. What made you start to question?"

"I.... I.... I had sex with Patrick."

Yet again, another deer in headlights look. I didn't know if I should have said that in front of her, I covered my mouth after uttering those words.

"Spongebob I... I think you're gay." She chuckled a little.

"I just don't know if it was the drinks, or if it's how I feel."

"Well do you still want to fuck him?"

"...maybe?"

"There is your answer Spongebob."

"But I don't know if he even wants to talk to me."

"How long has it been?"

"Like 3 days."

"Hmmm. How bad did you hurt him do you think? I assume you argued."

"I don't know. I left his rock before he could respond."

"Spongebob, I'm just gonna say, follow your heart. Whatever option would make you happy, no matter the embarrassment, follow that." She squeezed my hand in emphasis before smiling and leaning in for a hug.

I embraced Sandy in a new light, with a new clarity. I really appreciated her advice and kindness to me. I think it helped. I think I will talk to Patrick.