it was "teacher appreciation week" at abbott elementary, and principal ava coleman had a big surprise planned. "everyone, gather in the gym!" she announced over the loudspeaker, her voice crackling with excitement and just a hint of mischief. "today's the day you finally get to appreciate me."
the teachers exchanged weary glances. this can't be good, janine thought, but as usual, her optimism kicked in. "maybe it'll be a bonding experience!" she chirped as she led her class in a single file toward the gym.
when they arrived, the gym was decked out like a low-budget game show set. in the middle of the room was a makeshift stage with a spinning wheel covered in post-it notes. ava was standing beside it, wearing a glittery blazer and holding a microphone.
"welcome to abbott elementary's 'wheel of teacher fortune!'" ava said, as a spotlight that was clearly just a desk lamp swung around the room. "i've created a fun, super legit game where each of you spin the wheel and do a challenge based on your personality. the winner gets...a mystery prize!"
janine's eyes lit up. "this is so creative, ava! i love how you're thinking outside the box."
ava winked. "of course you do, janine. now, you're up first. spin the wheel."
janine excitedly spun the wheel, which stopped on "create a new school mascot." without missing a beat, she started brainstorming out loud.
"we need something that really captures the spirit of the students!" janine said. "maybe a friendly owl? or an inspiring eagle? but with a twist, like...an eagle that also teaches kindness!" she was about to launch into a detailed explanation of the eagle's personality when ava cut her off.
"boring," ava said. "next!"
melissa stepped up and gave the wheel a spin. it landed on "find something illegal in the janitor's closet." she raised an eyebrow. "why do i feel like this was rigged for me?"
ava grinned. "because it was. now go!"
melissa casually strolled over to the janitor's closet, opened it, and in under 30 seconds, emerged holding a suspiciously large box of firecrackers. "this what you're looking for?"
"why am i not surprised," jacob mumbled under his breath. "is that... even legal in a school?"
melissa smirked. "depends on who's asking."
next, jacob gave the wheel a gentle spin. it stopped on "give an impromptu history lesson." his face lit up. "okay, everyone gather around!" he said eagerly, as if he hadn't been teaching all day. "did you know the history of teacher appreciation dates back to ancient greece?"
gregory, who had been standing quietly in the back, sighed. "this is why no one invites you to happy hour, jacob."
"hey, knowledge is power!" jacob replied.
gregory rolled his eyes, but now it was his turn to spin. the wheel landed on "plant something and make it grow."
ava chuckled. "it's almost too easy."
gregory, in his usual deadpan style, pulled a tiny potted plant from his bag. "already did," he said, holding it up. "succulent. low maintenance. just like me."
finally, barbara's turn came. the wheel landed on "sing the national anthem in your best gospel voice." barbara gave a soft smile. "well, i suppose if the lord wants me to sing, who am i to say no?"
she took a deep breath, and with a voice that could raise the roof, belted out the most stirring rendition of the anthem anyone had ever heard. by the time she was done, the entire room was in awe, including ava, who was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "okay, okay, you win," ava said. "i mean, we all knew barbara was gonna win this, right?"
"and the prize?" janine asked, bouncing on her toes.
ava snapped her fingers, and the janitor wheeled out...a life-sized cardboard cutout of ava herself. "enjoy!" she said with a grin. "you're welcome."
gregory shook his head. "somehow, this feels exactly right."
janine, ever the optimist, smiled. "well, it's the thought that counts!"
jacob, staring at the cutout, couldn't help himself. "maybe we can use it as a teaching aid? like, to demonstrate the importance of authority figures in public education..."
melissa snorted. "yeah, or as a decoy to keep ava out of the staff lounge."
ava raised an eyebrow. "i heard that."
"we all heard that," barbara said with a knowing look.
as the group slowly started to disperse, janine lingered by the cutout, admiring it. "you know, if we ever need to motivate the students, this could actually work! we could bring it to assemblies or even use it as a reward system."
gregory couldn't resist a dry remark. "because nothing says 'reward' like a giant cardboard principal."
ava clapped her hands. "you know, i think i'm onto something. we could sell these. every classroom needs a piece of me to keep things running smoothly." she paused, thinking. "janine, you're in charge of production."
janine beamed, ever eager to help. "i'll start a committee!"
melissa shot gregory a look. "if this is our new reality, we need to get out of here."
"agreed," gregory said, nodding toward the door. "happy hour?"
barbara, overhearing, gave them a disapproving glance. "i'll be in church. praying for all of you."
"you might need to pray extra hard for janine," melissa added, watching her organize sticky notes with ideas for the "ava cutout project."
ava, meanwhile, was already practicing posing beside her cardboard self. "it's not easy being the best," she sighed dramatically.
the teachers all filed out, ready for the next bizarre day at abbott elementary. as they left the gym, janine stayed behind, still sketching mascot ideas. "maybe an owl with glasses... oh, no! wait, what about a friendly eagle with a tiny chalkboard..."
ava's voice echoed through the empty gym, full of confidence and sass. "whatever you do, make sure it looks as fabulous as me."
