Thirty Days Of September

chapter 6: weights of routine

Atasha continued her daily chores, her movements automatic as she tried to bury the rising tide of emotions threatening to overwhelm her. She wiped down the countertops, each stroke of the cloth mimicking the way she longed to wipe away the hurt. But the emptiness settled deeper within her, an uninvited guest she couldn't shake.

Every day felt like a cycle of monotony, and today was no different. She swept the floors, the rhythmic swish of the broom providing a semblance of comfort. But even this small act felt heavy. Was this all her life had become? A series of chores, punctuated only by the silence that hung in the air like a thick fog?

Aaron's indifference loomed large in her mind. He had never been particularly warm, but the way he moved through the house as if she were a mere shadow felt like a betrayal. Did he even see her? He never asked how she was, never engaged in their lives beyond the superficial. Their marriage felt like a contract to him—an arrangement, a burden he was obliged to bear until he could break free to marry Candice, the woman he truly desired.

Atasha remembered the whispered conversations, the way Aaron's eyes would light up when he spoke about Candice. He had always been polite but distant, and now that distance felt insurmountable. The truth was, she had agreed to this arrangement, thinking they could create something beautiful together. But instead, it had turned into a prison of her own making.

As she moved to the bedroom to change the sheets, her heart ached at the sight of the bed they suppose to with warmth and laughter. It's been cold and empty. She fluffed the pillows, wishing they were filled with the love she had hoped would blossom between them. But with each chore, the walls of her heart grew thicker, fortified against the pain of Aaron's rejection.

She took a moment to sit on the edge of the bed, her hands resting in her lap. How had it come to this? The life she had imagined—a partnership built on love and trust—had crumbled, leaving her to question her own worth.

The sound of Aaron's voice drifted in from the living room, speaking on the phone with a tone she had never heard directed at her. He laughed easily, his laughter rolling like music through the air. Was it Candice on the other end? The thought twisted like a knife in her gut. He had always talked about the future they would share, the life he wanted to build with her, but those dreams had been taken away by the very agreement she had once thought would lead them to happiness.

After finishing her chores, Atasha made her way to the kitchen. She stood before the window, gazing out at the garden, a small oasis in the chaos of her thoughts. The sun was shining, but it felt distant, as if it were shining on another world entirely. 

Atasha went back inside the house and began to prepare dinner. With each slice of the vegetables and each stir of the pot, she focused on nurturing herself first. As she poured her heart into the meal, she realized that while Aaron may never concern himself with her feelings, she could learn to care for herself. And in doing so, she would find the strength to choose her own path.

Later that afternoon, as Atasha was lost in her thoughts, the doorbell rang. She glanced up, startled, her heart quickening at the unexpected sound. She wasn't expecting anyone. Hesitant, she wiped her hands on a kitchen towel and made her way to the door, curiosity getting the better of her.

When she opened it, her breath caught in her throat. Standing there was Camille, her best friend since childhood, a whirlwind of energy and life. Camille's wide smile and vibrant outfit—bright floral patterns that echoed her sunny personality—contrasted starkly with the muted tones of Atasha's home.

"Oh my gosh, Atasha!" Camille exclaimed, stepping inside and pulling Atasha into a tight hug. "I haven't seen you in ages! I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by. You look... different."