Thirty Days Of September

chapter 10: Atasha's Resolve

After a month Atasha drove home with a newfound sense of purpose. The tears she had shed at the park months ago and the tears she shed every night felt like a cleansing, washing away some of the hurt that had been clinging to her for so long. As she parked in the driveway, she took a moment to breathe deeply, inhaling the familiar scent of her home mixed with a hint of the ocean from their beach trip. She wanted to carry that feeling of freedom and possibility into her next steps.

Stepping inside, the house felt eerily quiet. Atasha knew Aaron was likely in the living room, absorbed in his thoughts or work, perhaps even unaware of her absence. The familiar pang of loneliness threatened to creep back in, but she shook her head and steeled herself. This was her life, and she would shape it according to her own needs.

After a quick glance in the mirror to check her appearance, Atasha walked toward the living room, her heart racing. She knew she needed to talk to Aaron, not about their marriage, but about her—about who she wanted to be moving forward.

As she entered the room, Aaron looked up, momentarily surprised to see her standing there, a hint of vulnerability mixed with resolve in her posture. "Hey," he said, the warmth in his tone absent as he returned his attention to the TV.

"Can we talk?" Atasha asked, her voice steady despite the tumult of emotions inside her.

"Sure, what's up?" he replied, not looking away from the screen.

Atasha clenched her fists, fighting the urge to let his indifference affect her. "I just got to my senses," she began, searching for the right words. "And I've been thinking a lot about us—about me."

He finally turned to look at her, brow raised, clearly confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she continued, taking a deep breath to steady herself, "that I can't keep living like this. I've felt lost for so long, like I've been drowning in this marriage. I want to reclaim my life, my happiness, but I can't do it alone."

Aaron shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "What do you want from me, Atasha?"

"I want to reach an agreement," she said, her heart pounding in her chest. "I want to accept that we have our own paths to follow, and I want you to be honest about your feelings---that it was and its is really Candice you truly love. I don't want you and me to be in a loveless marriage anymore, but I want us to part ways amicably."

He stared at her, the color draining from his face as he processed her words. "You're serious?"

"Yes," she affirmed, feeling a mix of fear and relief. "I'm tired of pretending everything is fine. I want to be able to find joy in my life again, even if that means stepping away from this marriage. I want you the get back your happiness with Candice. But I also don't want it to be a bitter fight. I want us to be adults about this."

Aaron leaned back, rubbing his forehead. "Why this sudden?  I thought..."

"What?" Atasha interrupted, her voice softening. "That I would just keep waiting for you to notice me? For you to change? I can't do that anymore. I need to focus on my happiness."

The room fell silent, tension hanging in the air like a fragile thread. After a moment, Aaron sighed, the weight of her words settling around them. "Atasha?"

Atasha nodded, feeling a flicker of understanding from him. "I know it's not easy, but it's better to face the truth now than drag this on. Let's be honest with each other moving forward. I know you still love Candice to the core. I don't want to be forever the person who stands in the way of your happiness."

Aaron looked at her, "Then?"

"I'm not asking for a divorce right away. I just want to take things step by step. In few days I will tell you my resolution."

He nodded slowly, the tension in his shoulders easing a bit. "I can agree to that. I don't want this to be a bitter situation."

Atasha felt a wave of emotion swell within her, a blend of sadness and hope. This wasn't the resolution she had dreamed of, but it was a start—a step toward acceptance and healing. "Thank you, Aaron. It means a lot to me."

As they sat in silence, Atasha felt lighter than she had in ages. They had a long road ahead, but for the first time, it felt like they were facing it together. With a sense of determination, she resolved to embrace the journey of rediscovery, reclaiming her identity while navigating the uncertain waters of her marriage.

And as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow throughout the room, Atasha couldn't help but feel that perhaps, just perhaps, she was on the cusp of something beautiful.

The morning sun spilled over the horizon, painting the sky in soft hues of orange and pink. Atasha laced up her running shoes, her heart fluttering with a mix of excitement and nerves. This morning jog was a small but significant step in reclaiming her sense of self.

As she stepped out of the gate, the fresh air greeted her like an old friend. She took a deep breath, savoring the moment of freedom. The rhythmic sound of her feet hitting the pavement felt empowering, each step a declaration that she was taking control of her life again.

Unbeknownst to her, Aaron stood by the window, his eyes following her figure as she jogged away. He felt a pang of regret as he watched her leave, realizing how long it had been since he had seen her so vibrant and alive. The jogging outfit she wore hugged her form in a way that he realized Atasha is physically far better than Candice.

"Where is she off to?" he muttered under his breath, a mix of curiosity and concern bubbling within him. The sight of her running alone brought back memories of their shared moments, the laughter and adventures they once had.

For a moment, Aaron debated whether to go after her, to ask if he could join. He felt a sudden urge to reconnect. But the weight of their recent conversation hung heavily in the air. He hesitated, feeling torn between wanting to support her newfound independence and fearing he would only disrupt her journey.

As Atasha turned the corner, her ponytail swinging with each stride, she felt a sense of liberation wash over her. The sound of her heartbeat in her ears was almost like a mantra—I am here. I am alive. I am enough.

But even as she jogged, a small part of her couldn't help but wonder if Aaron was watching, if he cared enough to notice her effort to change. Does he even care that I'm taking this step? The thought was a fleeting one, but it lingered just long enough to remind her of the uncertainty still hanging over them.

After completing a few laps around the neighborhood, Atasha slowed to a walk, her breath coming in satisfying gasps. She paused for a moment, taking in the beauty of the morning—the trees swaying gently in the breeze, the distant laughter of children playing, and the feeling of the sun warming her skin. It felt like a small victory, one that she would cherish.

Meanwhile, back at home, Aaron stood at the window, wrestling with his own thoughts. Watching Atasha embrace this moment of clarity stirred something within him—a desire to be better, to do better.