The Things We Leave Behind

n i n e

spoiler alert for grey's anatomy season 5

Lana came by the house later that afternoon. We were supposed to go dress shopping but now Jackie is making me sit on the couch to 'rest.' I told her that I was barely cut, and completely fine but she's not having it. The doctor cleared me to do everything except exercise, and to make sure I wrap my arm in plastic wrap when I shower.

Jackie's pissed at Logan. Daniel's pissed at Logan and Millie is making fun of Logan because both his parents are pissed at him. I honestly couldn't care less. I know it was an accident and he's trying to make it up to me. He brought tea, cookies and a blanket for me while I'm stuck on the couch. Millie's sitting next to me while we crunch and sip as we watch Grey's Anatomy. 

"Wait, so Lexi is Meredith's sister?" Lana asked. She is a first time watcher, and it shows.

"Half-sister," Millie corrects. She's seen the entire show a few times and has somehow remembered everything. When the newest season came out, she was sat and didn't pause at all. She peed with the door open.

"Do they have the same mum?" Lana asks Millie. She ended up staying and watching since we couldn't go shopping and she's really getting into the show. She and Mills are getting along great too.

"Same dad," Millie explains. "Meredith's dad left her and her mum when she was a baby and met another woman. They had Lexi, who also ended up being a doctor and wound up at the same hospital as Mere."

"Where is their dad?" It is now yapping instead of watching now and it's pissing me off.

"He and Meredith we're starting to get along but then Lexi's mum got sick and died while Meredith was her doctor, and her dad blamed her for it so she kinda wants nothing to do with her family."

"This shit is crazy," Lana sighs.

"Ha, you're only just getting started," Millie laughs. Thankfully, the chatter dies down and we can keep watching. Of course, this is when Logan has to strut in with his bros and sit down on the couch next to us.

"Logan, I thought you were grounded?" Millie says, exhausted with her brother. 

"That doesn't mean I can't have friends over," he smiles smugly.

"Logan Muriel Anderson, you better not have friends over!" Jackie yells from somewhere in the house and her words ring out like an alarm that sends Logan's friends feeling to the front door. They don't even say goodbye as they leave, ditching their friend and fearing the wrath of Jackie.

It's Millie's turn to look smug as she turns back to the TV show, satisfised that Logan isn't.

"What are we watching?" He asks, turning to me.

"We are trying to watch Grey's, but we keep being interrupted." I explain.

"Millie's seen the show dozens of times, haven't you Mil? I'm sure she could tell you what happens," Logan says. George O'Malley appears on screen and Logan points to him. "He dies."

"Logan! Fuck you, douchebag!" Lana throws a pillow at Logan's head and my girl must have been strong because she knocked him into me, and we both fall backwards on the couch. Logan lands on top of me and all the sounds around me dissipate as we stare into each other's eyes, each holding the others gaze. My heart is beating so fast, I'm sure he can hear it. This isn't what I want. I thought it was, but every time we get close, my stomach feels sick. His hand is on my thigh and while it feels hot, I'm not in the right headspace right now. I have to share a room with him tonight.

"Having fun feeling me up, Anderson?" I chuckle, nervously. Cassandra Milton, is this your idea of flirting or do you want him off you? Shut up brain.

"Oh, shit sorry," he says, while removing his hand. Ok, enough of this.

I let out a small cough and slowly rise from the couch, indicating I want him to get off me. He quickly moves out of the way, and I shuffle over, closer to Millie and sit back down, checking my wound and adjusting the blanket. I grab another cookie and try and focus on the show in front of me and not the boy staring daggers into the side of my face.

I need him to go away. I'm dealing with too many things at once and he would just get in the way and try and fix everything and that would just over complicate it and make it worse. He needs to stay way, for now at least. Just until I figure out myself, my life here. As well as trying to fix the situation with the people back home who are determined to make my life miserable with as many reminders of the past as they can muster.

I need a nap.

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