Starlight

Chapter 13

"Feathertail, you're needed for a border patrol."

Feathertail woke up, disgruntled from having to move so soon after getting back with Hawkfrost. His words had taken her by surprise, and she couldn't bring herself to say anything, not when his words came so close to her dream. Hawkfrost seemed to think her silence meant something else, and left without another word.

Feathertail remained on the tree for several more moments, watching her Clanmate leave the island and return to their territory, not looking back once. She wondered if she hurt his feelings by not responding, but even he had to know he had said that too suddenly to expect a response so soon, right?

She finally returned to camp when the sky had turned blood red and she could hardly see it over the horizon. Almost the entire Clan had settled in the camp, save for Mosspelt, who was resting outside the camp by the bank. Feathertail mewed a greeting to her foster mother, giving the she-cat's ear a lick. While she knew she could never feel for Mosspelt the same way a cat could feel for their birth mother, she cared for the tortoiseshell deeply and she'd help her in any way she could. Mosspelt's own daughter, Dawnflower, who had told Feathertail such when they were apprentices, now had kits of her own and the tortoiseshell was bound to move to the elder's den soon enough when Willowkit was old enough to look after herself.

"I saw Hawkfrost go storming into camp like a scolded apprentice," Mosspelt meowed. "Do you know what happened to him?"

Feathertail shuffled her paws uncomfortably. "He admitted to having feelings for me," she admitted. "But I couldn't find the words to respond. I think he believes I don't share his feelings because of that."

Mosspelt rested her tail on her shoulder. "Do you?"

"Yes. No. . . I don't know! Feelings are so confusing, and all I can think about is helping the Clan and if Graystripe is really coming back that I haven't spent the time thinking about anything else. I think I could have feelings for Hawkfrost, but I feel almost afraid of admitting it." Feathertail found herself blurting out some of her worries to her foster mother, having been used to confiding in the gentle she-cat. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to admit that she had been planning to move to ThunderClan before this situation with Hawkfrost arose.

A small smile slowly stretched across Mosspelt's face, her blue eyes glittering knowingly. "Then perhaps you should tell him about these feelings," she suggested. "It isn't fair to him that you keep this from him when he could possibly help. Who knows, maybe you'll both realize that you're better off as friends and you'll have a better relationship because of it."

"But that's the thing," Feathertail burst out. "I don't know if I want to stay as just friends! I've had so many mixed feelings about him that I can't tell what I want anymore. I don't even see his father when I look at him anymore, I just see him. And Mothwing is a great friend, too, and a wonderful medicine cat at that."

"I know," Mosspelt meowed. "I saw how you interacted with them when Sasha first arrived to the Clan. I'll admit, I was a little worried when I saw you suddenly start pulling away, but now that we know the full truth, I can't say I blame you for it. But you've also grown since then and matured more than many other cats ever could. Maybe it was the journey, or maybe it was learning that kin means nothing in the face of loyalty, but I'm proud of the cat you've become. You may not be my blood daughter, but you'll always be my daughter no matter what, you know that."

"I know, and I love you too," Feathertail murmured, pressing against Mosspelt. The older queen gave Feathertail's ears a few comforting licks, purring as she did so like she always did when Feathertail and Stormfur were kits in the nursery, frightened by a storm or a warrior who snapped at them for getting in the way. After a few moments, Mosspelt pulled away. "We'd best get into the camp before they start sending out search parties for us."