• Smoke And Mirrors • (GxG)

Three: Chicanery.

Cheyenne

Every night, I'm shaking.

I'm screaming. And no one hears me. I'm on fire, burning bright and with rage. But no one notices until I'm made of ash. Until I'm nothing, and no one. Gone. Only waiting to be swept away with the wind, and with time.

Time...

As one day comes, another goes. The moon waits for the sun, and the sun for the moon, and every single time, they miss each other. No hello, no goodbye. No time. Not even for a moment.

I wish I had had more of it with her.

More laughter, more talks in the middle of the night. More arguments that were usually my fault, and more of the make up dates that followed.

She loved mornings.

The spreading of drapes that allowed sunlight to medicate a dark room. The aroma of coffee, or breakfast, and the sound of quiet. Of momentary peace. She loved watching. As the sun rose and as people started their days just outside her windows. As humans interacted, and laughed, and fought.

Only the last part could I relate, though, for despite us being opposites, drama was never too good for anyone.

The sleeping pills from last night lay uncapped on the nightstand, where the alarm on my phone sounded off, blaring into my ears.

Opening my eyes, I laid there for a long moment, my breathing calm in contrast to the beating of my heart as my eyes stared off into space. First upon the wall, then onto my phone on the nightstand, the sight of the snooze button slanted in angle as I merely blinked, still yet to have moved.

Thinking I was ready, motion stirred into my body at last as I took a slow breath.

Only, I was apparently wrong, for the flash of red on my fingertips caused me to yank my hand back inside the comforter instantly, my eyes soon squeezing shut.

The alarm on my phone rang still. And I'm shaking.

Counting to eight in my head, I reminded myself that it wasn't real. That it was eight months ago and I'm different now. Better, and healing.

One last deep breath was drawn from the core of my chest before I opened my eyes again, sticking my hand back out to pressing the 'stop' button. The noise stopped, silence following, and I exhaled through my nose, rising from out of bed at last.

Routines are my thing now, and I pretty much follow the same one every day. Give or take a few minor detours, just so that I seem normal, and not insane.

After parting the beige drapes in my bedroom while dressed in underwear and a tank top, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and dressed for the day.

With light makeup on my face and my braids in a long middle ponytail, I wore a sleeved feminine top with denim jeans. White slingback heels clicked below my feet as I ambled down the stairs from my bedroom.

Before leaving, I lifted the shades from the tall windows, brightening up the entire home as I then gathered my burgundy handbag and Chanel shades on my way out of the door. Outside in the driveway was my aunt's car, the sun kissing my skin with kindness as the quiet of the neighborhood amplified the sound of heels against concrete.

Driving the beige convertible to the coffee shop that I saw only four days a week, I lifted my shades on top of my head, just as the ringing of my phone interrupted the music I had playing.

Once swiping my thumb across the screen, I brought it to my ear. "Brother."

"Sister." His match of my flat tone made me smile, as I'm sure he was doing the same on the other line. "How are you- What're you up to?"