Eventually

The truth about Him

Now normally, I write fictional things, but for whoever reads this, you will know the truth.

In seventh grade, the beginning of the year was great.  It was everything any kid thought middle school might be.  My teachers, for the most part, were nice and I had no problems with them.  I met new friends, and a new girl who would turn out to be one of my good friends this year.  I met a boy whose name was John, and at first he was my friend.  That's all I thought he would ever be.  He would joke with me and text me.  Our lockers were even next to each other.  We were in the same homeroom, and he was dating a girl who I used to be good friends with, and I didn't talk to often but was still friendly to her.  They were together, and happy, and I was happy for him. After all, he was probably my best guy friend.  

Sadly, John and the girl broke up, and he came to me asking for advice.  He said he still liked her, and I told him to go for it.  He asked her back out, and she rejected him.  Well, rejected is a harsh word...more like, politely turned him down.  After all, she is a nice person.  Anyway, we started talking more, and became closer.  One night- or should I say morning- he called me.  3AM.  I don't remember the details, but I think that was the moment I may have liked him a little more than friends.  He called me the next day too.  On Monday, in school, I saw him and my suspicions were confirmed.  My friends started noticing after a while and John heard some rumors.  Later that day, we confirmed with each other that all we would ever be was friends, and we didn't like each other like that.  Eventually, when I least expected it, he asked me out.  December 22, two thousand and whatever.  We were at our lockers, and he just turned to me and straight out said "will you be my girlfriend" and me being the annoying idiot that I am said "sure."  WHAT THE F-ING HELL???????  SURE? WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE WAS THAT?  

But I clarified that I meant yes, and next thing I knew, I had my (what I consider to be) first boyfriend.  Now John isn't the most attractive person, so my friends were a little surprised, but they claimed they knew it all along.  It was amazing for the first month or so, then one day at lunch he pulled me aside, and broke up with me.  Now I was shocked, but whatever.  He's just a boy, right?  I'm not going to go into all the details, but we broke up and got back together about....5 times?  Don't remember the exact number.  We made mistakes, and it led to our downfall.  He was my first kiss tough, so i can't forget that.  We stayed friends, and we were really close friends.  To this day, we are friends, but not as close as we used to be.  

He caused me many problems in 7th grade, but I won't share those now.

It's eighth grade now, around the end of November, and I'm at the mall with a big group of friends.  I'm way over John, and he knows that, but he refuses to accept that.  This group of friends was what I would call my "main group of friends" at that time.  I knew I liked this boy in that group.  Im gonna call him, Him.  I could say his real name, but people might have a chance of finding out.  (Not like I'm making this super obvious anyway).

 BLAH BLAH BLAH, I told friends and got permission from my best friend and asked him out.  YUP, I asked Him out.  I was sitting in my bed shaking, and I still did it.  He said yes.  It was awkward at first, but eventually it was more natural.  I really like him.  Dare I say, love, him.  Yes, I did.  Still do.  I love him.  I wouldn't tell him that now though.  I know, I know, You can't love someone, you're too young.  Whatever, love knows no age.  

I broke up with him the beginning of freshman year.  I still liked him, but I didn't wanna drag him into my problems.  He texted me asking me if we could try again, and I needed to think about it and so I told him to ask me in person the next morning.  I said okay, I missed him.  Eventually I had to call it off again because it wasn't working right then.  i still regret this.  

I regret it so much.  I really like him, a lot.  

Like, a lot.  

One of my friends knows this, and she told me that I never know what gonna happen, and I told he she is crazy.  He probably hates me, and he told my other friend I was a "touchy subject" when she asked him about me.  I try to stay away, but he texted me the other day.  I literally spit water out my mouth when I saw his name show up on my phone.  What.  The.   HELL.  We talked for a little.  I can't get over him.  

i'm going to stop ranting now.  

To those who know who I'm talking about, let us not tell him...it'll be our little secret.  

If it is somehow you reading this, I know someone told you probably told you.  Kill them for me please.  And I'm sorry.

And to those who have no idea who or what I'm going on about, thank you.  Thanks for being unbiased on looks and personality and whatever else people used against us.  And me.  Thanks for reading my nonsence when I needed it.  

I love you all.

UPDATE: 

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT HE HAS A WATTPAD AND I REALIZED I'M FOLLOWING HIM BUT I DON'T THIG HE GOES ON IT BUT WHAT IF HE DOES.