There Are Three Types of People

mr. house, what chapter is it? mr. author, it's chapter 5.

As the sun rose over Gloomsville, casting long shadows across the debris-strewn streets, Mortimer "Morty" Blunderbuss, Prudence "Prude" Pumpernickel, and Chuckles McGee found themselves facing yet another bizarre morning. The alien ant invasion had been thwarted, but the town was far from returning to normal—if such a thing even existed in Gloomsville.

"Well, that was quite the night," Prude sighed, adjusting her glasses as she surveyed the damage. "I suppose we should start helping with the cleanup efforts."

Morty nodded enthusiastically, already bending down to pick up a piece of twisted metal. "Yeah! Maybe we'll find some cool ant parts we can keep as souvenirs!"

Chuckles, who was leaning casually against a lamppost, grinned. "Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about cleanup, folks. I have a feeling we're about to have our hands full with something else entirely."

Before Prude could question what he meant, a strange popping sound filled the air. It was like the sound of popcorn in a microwave, but amplified a thousandfold. Suddenly, small black cubes began appearing all over the street—on cars, sidewalks, even floating in mid-air.

"What in the world?" Prude gasped, her eyes widening as she watched the cubes materialize.

Morty, who had been about to pocket a shiny piece of ant antenna, dropped it in surprise. "Whoa! Are those... tiny presents from space?"

Chuckles chuckled, picking up one of the cubes and examining it closely. "Well, well, well. Looks like we've got ourselves an invasion of the very small cubes! How delightfully compact."

The cubes were perfectly black, each side measuring exactly one inch. They seemed to absorb light, giving them an otherworldly appearance. As more and more appeared, the citizens of Gloomsville began to emerge from their homes, looks of confusion and fear on their faces.

Prude, ever the voice of reason, tried to make sense of the situation. "We need to gather these cubes for study. They could be dangerous."

"Or they could be delicious!" Morty exclaimed, reaching out to lick one of the cubes before Prude could stop him.

"Morty, no!" she cried, but it was too late.

To everyone's surprise, Morty's tongue simply slid off the cube's surface as if it were made of glass. "Huh," he said, looking disappointed. "Tastes like nothing."

Chuckles grinned, tossing his cube from hand to hand. "Well, folks, looks like we've got ourselves a real head-scratcher here. I wonder what these little guys are up to?"

As the day progressed, more and more cubes appeared. They materialized in homes, offices, even in sealed bank vaults. No matter what anyone did, they couldn't be moved, destroyed, or altered in any way. The military rolled in with tanks, but even their most powerful weapons couldn't make a dent in the mysterious cubes.

Weeks turned into months, and the cubes became a part of daily life in Gloomsville. Prude spent her days studying them, trying to unlock their secrets. Morty had taken to using them as paperweights and doorstops, much to Prude's chagrin. And Chuckles? Well, he seemed to find the whole situation endlessly amusing.

"You know," he said one day, balancing a cube on his nose like a trained seal, "I've got a feeling these little guys are just waiting for the right moment to show us what they can really do."

Prude looked up from her notebook, where she'd been cataloging cube sightings. "What makes you say that?"

Chuckles winked at an unseen audience. "Oh, just a hunch. Plus, it'd be a pretty boring invasion if they just sat around doing nothing, wouldn't it?"

As if on cue, exactly one year after their first appearance, the cubes suddenly sprang to life. All across Gloomsville, they began to move, transform, and act in ways that defied explanation.

In the town square, a cube floated up to Mayor Fiddlesticks and began taking his pulse. Another cube in the library transformed into a tiny flamethrower, setting fire to a stack of overdue notices. At the local diner, a cube started playing "The Chicken Dance" on an endless loop, much to the patrons' dismay.

Morty, who had been using a cube as a paperweight, yelped in surprise as it suddenly sprouted tiny wings and began chasing him around the room, shooting harmless laser beams. "Help! I'm being attacked by office supplies!"

Prude ducked as a cube whizzed past her head, its sides now covered in blinking lights. "This is impossible! How can they have so many different functions?"

Chuckles, who was calmly dodging laser beams from three flying cubes while juggling two more, laughed. "Oh, come on, Prude! Where's your sense of adventure? This is like a cosmic game of chance! You never know what you're gonna get!"

As chaos erupted across Gloomsville, our trio found themselves in the thick of it. Prude tried desperately to document and understand the cubes' behavior, while Morty alternated between running in terror and trying to befriend the more benign cubes.

"Maybe if we're nice to them, they'll stop trying to kill us!" he shouted, offering a sandwich to a cube that had transformed into a miniature wood chipper.

Chuckles, meanwhile, seemed to be having the time of his life. He danced between laser beams, used a flamethrower cube to light his cigar, and even managed to conduct an impromptu orchestra of cubes playing "The Chicken Dance" in harmony.

"You know, folks," he said, addressing no one in particular, "I've got a feeling this is just the beginning of our cubic adventure. After all, we're only on chapter five! We've got..." He paused, muttering under his breath, "101 minus 5 is... 96 chapters left!"

Prude, who was trying to corral a group of cubes that had formed a conga line, shot him a confused look. "What are you talking about? What chapters?"

But before Chuckles could answer, a massive cube, easily the size of a house, materialized in the center of town. Its sides began to glow with an ominous purple light, and a deep, resonant hum filled the air.

"Oh boy," Morty gulped, hiding behind a mailbox. "I think we might have made them angry."

Prude's face set in determination. "Whatever that thing is, we need to find a way to communicate with it. Maybe we can reason with these cubes, understand their purpose."

As they approached the giant cube, dodging smaller cubes that were now performing an elaborate aerial ballet, Chuckles couldn't help but chuckle to himself. "Oh, if they only knew what was coming next," he murmured, just loud enough for you, dear reader, to hear. "But don't worry, we've got plenty of time to save the world from geometric invasion. After all, we've still got 96 chapters to go!"

Little did Morty and Prude know that their cubic conundrum was far from over. As they stood before the massive glowing cube, ready to face whatever came next, a shadowy figure watched them from a nearby rooftop. Its outline seemed strangely... cubic.

But that, dear reader, is a story for another chapter. After all, in Gloomsville, the night is always young, and the horrors—or perhaps comedies—are just beginning. And who knows? Perhaps these cubes hold the key to unlocking the town's deepest, darkest secrets. Or maybe they're just really fancy dice for a cosmic board game. Only time, and about 96 more chapters, will tell.