There Are Three Types of People

the devil's number divided by 111

As our intrepid trio stood before the massive, glowing cube in the center of Gloomsville, the air crackled with an otherworldly energy. Prudence "Prude" Pumpernickel adjusted her glasses nervously, her logical mind racing to find a solution. Mortimer "Morty" Blunderbuss, on the other hand, was busy trying to befriend a smaller cube that had transformed into a miniature disco ball.

"Guys, I think we should try to communicate with it," Prude suggested, eyeing the giant cube warily. "Maybe if we can understand its purpose, we can find a way to stop this invasion."

Morty nodded enthusiastically, disco cube still perched on his head. "Oh! I know! Maybe it's just lonely and wants to make friends. We could throw it a party!"

Chuckles McGee, who had been casually juggling three flamethrower cubes, grinned at his companions. "Well, folks, I hate to break it to you, but I think our cubic friends are about to take this shindig to a whole new level."

As if on cue, the giant cube began to pulse with an intense purple light. Smaller cubes from all over town started floating towards it, merging and transforming as they approached. The air filled with the sound of metal grinding against metal as the cubes began to take on new, more menacing forms.

"Oh boy," Morty gulped, his disco cube friend suddenly sprouting razor-sharp blades. "I don't think they want to party anymore."

Prude's eyes widened in horror as she watched the transformation unfold. "This is impossible! The conservation of mass alone should prevent—"

"Now, now, Prude," Chuckles interrupted, casually dodging a laser beam from a newly formed cube-bot. "I think we're a bit past the laws of physics at this point. Besides, where's the fun in a predictable invasion?"

As the citizens of Gloomsville ran screaming through the streets, the cubes continued their terrifying metamorphosis. Some merged into towering mechs that stomped through buildings like they were made of cardboard. Others transformed into swarms of tiny, razor-sharp drones that sliced through the air with deadly precision.

"We need to evacuate the town!" Prude shouted over the chaos, her logical mind kicking into high gear. "Morty, help me gather the townspeople. We'll lead them to safety through the old mine shafts."

Morty, who had been trying to reason with his now blade-wielding disco cube, nodded vigorously. "Right! Evacuation! I'm on it!" He turned to run, promptly tripped over his own feet, and began crawling away on all fours.

Chuckles watched this display with amusement, casually sidestepping a cube that had transformed into a comically oversized mallet. "You know, folks," he said, addressing an unseen audience, "I've got a feeling this is going to be one of those 'darkest before the dawn' situations. But don't worry, we've still got plenty of chapters left to turn this around!"

As Prude and Morty (now back on his feet) began herding panicked citizens towards the mines, Chuckles found himself face-to-face with the largest cube-bot yet. It towered over him, its body a mass of whirring gears and pulsing energy.

"Well, hello there, big fella!" Chuckles grinned, seemingly unfazed by the giant robot's menacing presence. "You wouldn't happen to know where I could find a really, really big cup of coffee, would you? All this cube-dodging is making me a bit sleepy."

The cube-bot's eyes glowed an angry red as it raised a massive, cannon-like arm. But before it could fire, Chuckles had already danced out of the way, leaving the robot to blast a nearby fire hydrant instead.

"Ooh, close one!" Chuckles laughed, now perched atop a smaller cube-bot that seemed utterly confused by its new passenger. "You know, for hyper-advanced alien technology, your aim could use a little work!"