Sandali // FayeYoko

Chapter 3

Matagal-tagal na rin akong bumabalik-balik dito sa garden. Every day, I come back to the same spot, beneath the towering trees, the same flowers blooming, the same peace in the air. Yet despite the beauty, there’s this feeling of being out of place, like I don’t belong here. My feet keep bringing me back, as if hoping that something—or someone—will change.

And then there’s Yohana.

The first time I saw her, it felt like a jolt of energy. Para siyang liwanag na biglang sumulpot sa gitna ng kadiliman. Her laughter, her brightness, it was contagious. I hadn’t felt anything like it in a long time.

But then, just as quickly as she appeared, she vanished. Parang iwas na iwas sa akin ngayon. Every time I return, she’s nowhere to be found, and I’m left wondering if maybe I’d driven her away somehow.

Maybe it was my sadness. Sino nga ba ang gustong kasama ang isang taong puno ng lungkot?

Sitting on the old wooden bench, I let the silence wrap around me like a blanket. The leaves rustle softly, and the wind carries the scent of fresh blooms. It’s comforting, but at the same time, it reminds me how disconnected I feel. Sa totoo lang, it feels like I’m on the outside of my own life, watching everything pass by but not really being a part of it.

A part of me wants to stop coming back here, to stop hoping for my will to live to comeback. Pero nandito pa rin ako, naghihintay, kumakapit.

I heard footsteps crunching against the gravel, soft but unmistakable. My heart skips a beat. Maybe it’s her again, Yohana, with her bright smile and infectious energy. My body tenses with a strange mix of anticipation and uncertainty.

And then there she is.

This time, she’s not avoiding me. Instead, she walks right toward the garden, her eyes scanning the vibrant flowers. There’s a certain gentleness in the way she moves, parang lahat ng bagay na mahawakan niya, iniingatan niya. Her fingers lightly brush against the petals of a sunflower, and she smiles—like the flower just whispered something sweet in her ear.

I find myself holding my breath, not wanting to disturb her moment.

"Ang gaganda na ulit, 'di ba?" she says suddenly, not looking at me, but still speaking as if we’ve known each other for years. Her voice is light, but there’s something deeper in it that pulls me in.

"Yeah," I replied, though my voice sounds smaller than I intended. I clear my throat. "They’re beautiful."

She turns to me, finally, her eyes meeting mine. There’s something about the way she looks at me that’s different from the first time. Mas iba na siya ngayon, hindi na tulad noong unang beses kaming nagkita—na parang may gustong takasan.

"Sobrang tagal ko nang pabalik-balik sa garden na 'to, napabayaan nga lang pero maganda parin," she says, leaning down to inspect a cluster of daisies. "The flowers are always changing. Ang bilis nilang magbago. One day, they’re just buds, tapos bukas fully bloomed na sila."

I nod, unsure of what to say. It’s strange, this feeling. Parang hindi ko alam kung saan ako lulugar.

"You know," she continues, standing up and dusting off her hands. "I noticed you’ve been coming here a lot lately."

My heart flutters, caught off guard by her observation. "Yeah," I say, not really knowing how to explain why. "I just... I guess I needed some peace."

Her gaze softens, as if she understands more than I’m letting on. "I get that," she says quietly. "This place, it’s like a sanctuary. Away from everything else."

For a moment, we fall into silence. But it’s not uncomfortable. There’s something about being in this garden, with her, that feels... safe.

"Why do you come here?" I find myself asking, though I’m not sure I’m ready for the answer. Part of me wonders if she’s escaping something too, just like me.

Yohana smiles, pero may konting lungkot na sumilay sa mga mata niya. "I guess I come here to breathe. To remind myself that the world is still beautiful, kahit minsan ang hirap paniwalaan."

Her words hit me harder than I expect. I nod, understanding exactly what she means, even though we’ve only just started talking.

As the minutes pass, Yohana begins to share more about herself—lighthearted stories at first, about her love for flowers and how she used to get in trouble for sneaking into this very garden as a kid. The way she speaks, ang gaan pakinggan. Like she’s carrying the weight of the world but still manages to smile through it.

I listen quietly, absorbing her words. There’s something soothing about her voice, something that makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, the heaviness in my chest could start to ease.

"Do you have a favorite flower?" she asks suddenly, turning her gaze back to me.

Caught off guard, I think for a moment. "I don’t know," I admit. "I never really thought about it."

"Hmm," she muses, her eyes twinkling with curiosity. "Let me guess... roses?"

I shake my head, laughing a little. "Too predictable."

She grins. "Tulips?"

"Close," I say, feeling a strange warmth spreading through me. "But no."

"Okay, I give up," she says, throwing her hands up in mock defeat.

I smile, a real one this time. "Sunflowers," I told her. "I’ve always liked sunflowers."

She nods, as if it makes perfect sense. "Sunflowers are nice. Yellow, and bright."

Her words linger in the air between us, and for a brief moment, it feels like the walls I’ve built around myself are starting to crack, just a little.

Days pass, and our conversations grow longer. At first, we just talk about the garden, the flowers, the weather. But slowly, Yohana starts to open up more, sharing stories about her life—nothing too deep, pero enough to give me glimpses of who she really is.

She’s funny, lighthearted, and always seems to know how to find the good in things, kahit sa mga bagay na parang hindi naman kagandahan.

I don’t say much. Most of the time, I just listen. But somehow, being around her makes it easier to breathe. Her laughter, the way her eyes light up when she talks about something she loves—it’s infectious.

One day, as we sit on the grass, surrounded by flowers, she turns to me and says, "Alam mo, I tried to avoid you."

I blink, surprised by her honesty. "Why?"

She shrugs, looking a little sheepish. "I don’t know. Siguro kasi... I could tell you were sad. And I didn’t know how to make you feel better."

Her words hit me harder than I expected. I don’t know how to respond at first, but after a moment, I say, "I get that. I’ve been avoiding myself too."

Yohana looks at me, her gaze softening. "But I’m glad I didn’t keep avoiding you.'

I smile, feeling something warm and unfamiliar stir inside me. "Me too."

In that moment, under the shade of the trees, with the scent of flowers all around us, something shifts. The sadness is still there, but it feels lighter, less suffocating. And for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m not completely alone.