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YN's POV
Hurt.
That's what I am. I don't want to feel so pathetic, but the pain is sharp, tearing through my chest. What was that, Jeon Jungkook? First, he kissed me, pulling me into something electric and raw, and then-just as quickly-he pushed me away. Like I was something he couldn't afford to hold.
If he doesn't want me, then fine. I won't let him play with my heart.
With determined steps, I tried to push him out of my mind, focusing on the rhythm of my routine. But passing by his house, I saw him there, arranging delicate flowers into bouquets, each touch careful and soft. Those strong hands cradling lilies as if they were fragile, afraid he might crush them.
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What about me, Jeon?
Then his sister bounced into view, clutching a small, colorful bouquet. Her bright eyes sparkled as she showed it to him, and he smiled-a genuine, tender smile-as he ruffled her hair. She's such a little angel, that kid, always eager to help and even joining me at the café sometimes. She's precious.
He laughed with her, his teeth flashing in a breathtaking smile, so beautiful and unguarded that it made my heart stutter. A smile so rare, unmarred, so different from the guarded expressions he shows the world.
I wonder, Jeon-would you ever smile at me like that? Or would you just say, "We can't, we shouldn't"?
Then he looked up, catching my gaze, his smile fading instantly, replaced by a tension in those dark, unreadable eyes. For a moment, I held his stare, but the weight of it made me glance away.
Am I that undesirable, Jeon?
I forced myself to face forward, grounding myself in the familiar street, focusing on the road and my own work. It was over. Whatever fragile hope I'd held onto was gone.
This is the end, YN. Forget about him now.
Jungkook's POV
She was gone.
So far away,
Slipping through my grasp to a place I couldn't reach, the place where I'd foolishly pushed her. Her face, once bright with a spark that lit something within me, now looked dulled, empty. I missed the fire in her gaze, that vivid warmth she sparked in me just with a single look. The desire, the pull-I had ruined it all.
This suffering is my doing. It's on me. I can't help but play back that last encounter, the way I crushed her heart with my own insecurities. But the moment she left, her father came to me. And the warning he gave has haunted me ever since.
"If you dare get close to my daughter again, I'll have you back in jail, Jungkook," he warned, his voice laced with a bitterness that left little room for protest.
I looked at him, a surge of desperation clawing at my insides. "But why?" I asked, the words nearly breaking as they left my throat. "I just... like her. I haven't done anything wrong in five years. Why do you have to do this?"
His expression remained hard, unrelenting. "Because a criminal like you doesn't deserve to be my daughter's lover. I won't let it happen. Understand that, and remember-if you go back to prison, think of what that would mean for your sister. She'd be left alone, abandoned, just like the people you once hurt."
The threat twisted deep inside me, a cruel grip on my heart. I clenched my fists, anger blazing. My jaw tightened as I glared at him, my voice low and raw. "Fine. I won't go near YN. But don't lay a finger on my sister, Shin. You stay the hell away from her."
He nodded, a smirk tugging at his lips as he turned away, satisfied with his victory. And I was left standing there, defeated and powerless.
The words echo in my mind, haunting me, reminding me of the chains that bind me. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt myself. But this is the only way I know to keep her safe from the darkness that shadows my past, from the danger that seems to follow me like a curse.
The world hates me. It would spit me out and lock me away without a second thought. The only light in my life has been my sister, Seohwa-she's the one person who still loves me, the only family I have. But when I think of YN... I wonder if she could be that light too, if she'd love me despite the past that stains my soul.
YN is my sweet temptation. She's all I want, yet everything I can't have. Just the thought of her brings memories flooding back, memories of the way her lips felt pressed to mine, so soft, so full of promise. That kiss is still etched into my heart, a bittersweet reminder of what I have to deny myself. And even though it pains me, I'm willing to carry that memory forever, holding onto it like a lifeline that keeps me alive.
But I can't reach for her. She's forbidden, a dream I can only admire from a distance. She deserves someone untouched by darkness, someone who isn't bound by a past filled with regret and mistakes. How could I bring her into this mess when her father's words haunt me, telling me that I'm unworthy, that she deserves someone clean, someone who hasn't lived in the shadows?
I lean back against the wall, closing my eyes as I recall the traces of that kiss-the way her lips molded to mine, the warmth of her breath against my skin, the faint taste of something forbidden yet impossibly sweet. I can feel it still, lingering in the depths of my heart, a fragment of happiness that I know will never fade. That one kiss was a glimpse into a life I'll never have, a happiness that's just beyond reach.
I imagine her smile, the laughter in her eyes when she's teasing me, the gentle warmth that only she has. I imagine what it would be like to hold her freely, without guilt, without hesitation, to protect her and keep her close. But the reality crashes in like a cruel wave, reminding me of the barriers that separate us, the warnings that chain me down.
Maybe in another life, things would be different. Maybe, in some other world, I'd be free to tell her how she makes me feel, to pull her close without a shadow of regret. But not here. Not now. For now, all I can do is watch her from afar, admire her strength, her beauty, and hope that someday, somehow, she'll understand why I'm doing this.
I may be broken, scarred by a past I can't erase, but for her, I'd endure the pain of staying away. For her, I'll let this love remain unspoken, hidden in the corners of my heart.
