Torn: Sequel to Ruthless

Epilogue

Octavia

6 months later...

Today is the day of the Victory Tour. And yet, the reality of it still feels like a sickening dream, as though everything that's happened is just a cruel play and I'm stuck in the role of a lifetime, pretending to be someone I'm not.

It's hard to believe that Kai's been gone for 6 months. Every day, I feel it, like a stone lodged in my chest. His absence is an ache that never fades, a wound that never fully heals.

I stand by the window of the lavish train, watching the endless landscape blur by, my eyes tracing the rhythm of the land. Apollo, Arachne, Enobaria, Brutus, our stylists, and I are heading to District 12—the first stop of this absurd tour. Then we'll move on to Districts 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5... and then Kai's district. District 4. I feel a heavy weight press on my heart at the thought. After that, we'll go to District 3, then District 1, and finally, the Capitol, where Apollo and I will vanish from the spotlight for a while. It's supposed to be two weeks of charades, pretending for the Capitol's insatiable need for perfection. Pretending to be something we never were.

"We're here!" Arachne trills in her usual chipper voice.

I let out a long, slow breath, one that feels like it might never end. I cast one last, reluctant glance at the dreary train station, my stomach twisting with a nausea I can't seem to escape.

My stylist, whose name I still don't know, whisks me away to prepare for the day. He dresses me in a body-hugging, coal-black dress with silver-gray accents, and my makeup is bold—smoky eyes and dark red lips, a look meant to make me shine, I suppose. A train trails behind me as I walk, an expensive and unnecessary detail. My hair is pulled tightly into a sleek bun that feels more like a punishment than a style.

When I return to the train car, Apollo is already there, dressed in a matching outfit—again, another decision to reinforce the image we must project. Arachne bounces over to us, her energy a sharp contrast to the cold weight inside me, handing us each a stack of index cards.

"Here are your speeches. Don't forget to smile, smile, smile when we get off the train!" She practically sings the words.

Smile. That's what she wants from me. That's all they want. I've been practicing it for months, forcing my lips into a grin, but inside, all I can feel is a grimace.

When we finally step off the train, I expect chaos, but instead, there's a strange, unsettling silence. Some people cheer, others remain quiet, their faces unreadable. But when we reach the square, the silence deepens. It's suffocating. My voice echoes through the stillness as I deliver the Capitol-mandated speech about honoring their greatness. The words feel like poison in my mouth, each one a reminder of everything I've lost.

The dinner with the mayor and his family is no better. I sit there, barely touching the food on my plate, my thoughts swirling in a fog of frustration and grief. Arachne and the mayor try to engage in some sort of conversation, but I can't bring myself to care. I hold my hand tightly in Apollo's, a reminder of the role we're forced to play. The mayor's daughter, sitting on my left, stares at me the entire meal, her eyes flicking between Apollo and me as if trying to decide whether our 'love' is real. Does she believe it? Does anyone?

I can't stop thinking about Kai.

How would he have handled this tour? How would he have gotten through this, pretending, faking it for the Capitol? Would he have known how to make it feel less empty, like he always did with me? I can't help but wonder if he would have had a way of making this feel even the slightest bit real. But then the thought comes, sharp and final: It doesn't matter. He's gone.