Fighting your demons (SaneOba)

Introduction

(I haven't read the manga, Though I've seen a few spoilers. I believe this part will be wrong, or not canon so- you're warned! I mean, yeah, it's obviously not canon, it's literally saneoba. I don't know the order of their deaths, that's it. My bad if I mischaracterize any of the characters, I probably might. Let's see how this goes!)

...

Sanemi had never been able to tell Obanai the truth. They had fought side by side, bled together, survived together in his past life, where demons were the enemy, but time was the real thief. As best friends, they shared everything—except the feelings Sanemi buried deep in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to say it, not when they were fighting for their lives every day, not when Obanai had been through so much.

Sanemi had always known Obanai carried shame, especially over the scar that ran across his face. It was a painful reminder of his dark past, a mark of the suffering he endured. But to Sanemi, that scar was... it was beautiful. It was proof of Obanai's strength, his survival, his spirit that refused to break. Sanemi could see Obanai's beauty in every glance, in the way he moved with grace even in battle, and in the quiet moments when the mask of strength would slip, and Obanai's vulnerability showed. It only made Sanemi fall deeper, wanting to protect him in a way that was more than just loyalty between comrades.

But he never said anything. Not once did he find the courage to tell Obanai how deeply he had fallen for him, how he admired every scar, every imperfection. How, to Sanemi, Obanai was perfect in ways words could never fully capture. He would often catch himself staring, wanting to reach out and brush his fingertips against the scar Obanai hated so much, just to show him it didn't matter—it never mattered.

And then Obanai was gone.

Death came for Obanai before Sanemi could ever say those words. In one cruel twist of fate, Sanemi was left standing while the man he loved was stolen from him. The world went dark the moment he saw Obanai's lifeless body, his heart shattering in a way that nothing—not even the fiercest demon... had ever been able to do.

In the silence that followed, regret took root in Sanemi's soul. He couldn't forget the sight of Obanai falling, couldn't erase the endless 'what-ifs' that plagued his mind. What if he had told him? What if he had been brave enough to confess? Would it have made a difference? Would Obanai have known, in those final moments, that someone loved him—truly, deeply loved him?

Sanemi survived, but every day felt like an open wound. The regret of his silence gnawed at him like a demon he couldn't slay. Every memory of Obanai—his laugh, his quiet strength, the way he would glance at Sanemi in those unguarded moments—became both a treasure and a curse. Sanemi clung to those memories, even as they cut him deeper than any blade ever had. The loss, the regret, the pain of knowing that he had been too late—it was unbearable.

He was haunted by the love that never had the chance to be spoken, and he carried that regret with him every single day. Obanai was gone, and all Sanemi could do was live with the unbearable truth: that in the end, he had been a coward. He had loved Obanai, but he had never been able to tell him.

And now, it was too late. Too late for anything. The cruel reality of loss had already shattered Sanemi once when Obanai died, but fate hadn't stopped there. His younger brother, Genya—only sixteen, with his whole life ahead of him—died too, right in front of his eyes. Sanemi had been powerless, unable to save either of them.

Genya's death broke something in Sanemi that he hadn't thought could break further. The regret was suffocating, far more than anything he'd ever felt. Sanemi had been a terrible brother. He knew that, and now he couldn't stop thinking about all the times he'd mistreated Genya, pushed him away, or spoken harshly to him when all Genya ever wanted was his acceptance. The memories of every cold word, every harsh rejection, cut deeper than any demon's claw. He hated himself for it... hated that he had been so blind, so proud, so angry.

Sanemi wanted to go back, to undo it all, to be the brother Genya deserved. He wanted to hold him, tell him he was proud of him, that he loved him. But now, that chance was gone. He couldn't turn back time. He couldn't save him.

He had lost not only Obanai, but his brother too—his sweet, strong, determined little brother, who had looked up to him despite everything. And Sanemi had failed him. The pain of losing both of his favorite people in the world was unbearable. It crushed him, tore at him until he could hardly breathe, the weight of his regrets threatening to swallow him whole.

Sanemi had survived, but inside, he felt like the one who had died... He wished he had.