THE MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP

My little pony

Once again, Mylo and Kyleigh were stuck on a school field trip in the dreaded Cloudy Forest. After their nightmare of an encounter with the Care Bears, they thought they'd seen the worst of it. But, oh no. The universe wasn't done with them yet.

"You walk slower than dial-up internet," Kyleigh groaned as she stomped ahead.

"Yeah? Well, your voice is like nails on a chalkboard, except somehow worse," Mylo fired back, snapping a twig under his shoe for dramatic effect.

Before Kyleigh could unleash her next insult, the sky turned bright pink, and—because their lives were apparently cursed—a rainbow portal opened up in the air. Out flew six brightly colored ponies, sparkles everywhere.

"I cannot believe this is happening," Kyleigh whispered, rubbing her temples.

"Oh good. More magical creatures here to teach us about friendship," Mylo deadpanned.

"Hi there!!" a bubbly pink pony with a mane that looked like it had lost a battle with a cotton candy machine bounced over. "I'm Pinkie Pie, and we heard you two need some help with the magic of friendship!"

Kyleigh let out a dramatic groan. "Magic of friendship? You've got to be kidding me. Is this some kind of punishment? Did I break a mirror?"

"More like your brain," Mylo muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me?" Kyleigh shot him a deadly glare. "At least I'm not out here looking like a human cotton swab with legs."

Before Mylo could retort, Rainbow Dash zipped between them. "Whoa there! No need to fight, we're here to help you two get along."

"Help us?" Kyleigh snorted. "I'd rather eat a cactus."

"Please, help me escape from her," Mylo added. "I'll pay you in whatever fake horse money you guys use."

Rarity, the elegant white unicorn, trotted over, her nose in the air. "You two really must work on your manners. It's quite dreadful listening to this bickering."

Kyleigh raised an eyebrow. "Manners? From someone whose hair looks like an ice cream cone fell on her head?"

Rarity gasped, clutching her pearls—or, rather, the imaginary ones around her neck. "Well! I never!"

Rainbow Dash, never one for subtlety, zoomed overhead. "Okay, time to move on! First challenge: work together to catch that runaway balloon!" She pointed to a huge pink hot air balloon floating off into the distance.

Kyleigh scoffed. "Please, as if I'd trust him with anything that floats. His brain's already halfway in the clouds."

"Not my fault I have to dumb things down for you," Mylo shot back. "If your IQ was any lower, we'd need a shovel to find it."

Twilight Sparkle, ever the diplomat, stepped in with her magic ready. "Why don't we try working together to catch the balloon? Friendship is all about teamwork!"

"Teamwork with him?!" Kyleigh pointed at Mylo like he was a plague. "I wouldn't team up with him if my life depended on it. He'd probably turn it into a disaster."

"You know what's a disaster?" Mylo smirked. "Your entire existence."

Kyleigh's eyes narrowed. "Do you ever get tired of being wrong, or is it just like... your thing?"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Alright, y'all, this ain't gettin' us nowhere. Just grab that balloon 'fore it floats away!"

Kyleigh made a half-hearted attempt to chase after the balloon. "If I trip and die, it'll be because of him."

"You trip over air, so don't blame me," Mylo called after her. "You've got the coordination of a baby giraffe!"

Somehow, despite their constant verbal warfare, they managed to catch the balloon—mostly because Fluttershy, too shy to intervene, quietly helped them.

"That was... painful to watch," Twilight said, rubbing her forehead.

Pinkie Pie bounced up, still grinning. "Next challenge! How about a bake-off? Cupcakes are a great way to bring people together!"

Kyleigh snorted. "This'll be rich. I can already see Mylo setting something on fire."

"Please, like you know how to cook," Mylo said, stepping up to the counter. "You probably burn Pop-Tarts."

Kyleigh picked up a whisk and glared at him. "At least I don't make cereal with a fork. What's wrong with you?"

After a series of insults and flying flour, the "friendship cupcakes" looked like they'd been through a hurricane. The kitchen was a disaster, with frosting on the ceiling and batter everywhere.

Twilight looked horrified. "I'm... not sure that's what cupcakes are supposed to look like."

Kyleigh wiped batter off her face. "This is 100% his fault."

Mylo glared. "Excuse me? You're the one who threw the flour at me like a maniac!"

"You asked for it!"

"You're impossible!"

"You're a human disaster!"

The ponies huddled together, clearly unsure of how to handle the situation. Rainbow Dash hovered, looking between Mylo and Kyleigh. "Uh, guys... you're kinda missing the point here."

"We know the point," Kyleigh said, arms crossed. "The point is he's the worst."

"Funny, I was just about to say the same thing about you," Mylo replied.

Pinkie Pie hopped in front of them, still smiling but looking slightly desperate. "But don't you feel like maybe—just maybe—you're starting to understand each other a tiny bit more?"

"No," Mylo and Kyleigh said at the same time, not even looking at each other.

Applejack sighed. "Well, shoot. We tried."

As the portal opened again to take Mylo and Kyleigh back to the real world, Twilight Sparkle frowned. "I'm really sorry we couldn't help you two become friends."

"Don't worry about it," Kyleigh said as she stepped through the portal. "He's hopeless."

"Right back at ya," Mylo added, following her through.

And so, once again, they left the magical world behind, still hating each other with every fiber of their being.

"Well," Mylo muttered as they walked back to the bus. "At least I got to see you fail at making cupcakes. That was pretty satisfying."

Kyleigh glared at him. "Enjoy it while it lasts, because I'll be making fun of your hair for the next year."

And with that, the cycle of insults continued, magical ponies or not.