Armewriting : Poems.

Way behind

I've always felt like I was behind, way behind.

Like while everyone was walking, I was in fact crawling in a desperate attempt to follow in their path, to follow the lightness people represented to me.

How ironic it was, knowing that for more than half of my life people seemed consumed by a darkness that corrupted their core.

Yet, they were still the lightness that I wanted to follow desperately.

They were in front of me, going forward,like they were meant to be.

Fulfilling every part of their life.

Evolving,growing.

It is not just a mere feeling, rather than that, a terrible truth.

I have always been behind, in every single aspect of life.

A kid tasting friendship for the first time around 11.

A kid who's not a paria anymore around 15.

A kid who's done nothing yet.

A kid who hasn't succeed.

A kid who hasn't taste family love.

A kid who only know to observe people walking and going forward, with such admiration and contempt in her eyes.

A mere kid who doesn't even really wish to join the others.

A mere kid finding comfort in being behind.

Comfort on what she despites.