The Secrets of Marigold

2. A new life

I made sure there was no light creeping in anywhere, carefully closing all the curtains and blocking every sliver of sunlight that dared to invade my sanctuary. The weight of the velvet drapes felt oddly comforting, like they were shielding me from something dangerous, from a world I no longer understood.

With the room now cloaked in shadow, I sat down at the kitchen table, my hands trembling slightly as I gripped the edge. The stillness around me was suffocating. My mind was a whirlpool of confusion. I wasn't just me anymore—I was something else. Okay, I'm a vampire now. What the hell does that even mean?

I glanced at the window again, the faintest hint of light threatening to slip through the curtains. I can't just sit here and wait for this to destroy me. I need a plan. A shudder passed through me, and I tried to shake it off, but the anxiety was already gnawing at my insides. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. The list seemed ridiculous, but I had to start somewhere. I needed answers, or at least some semblance of control over this chaos.

"Do I really have to drink blood?" I wrote down. The question felt alien, surreal, like it belonged to a completely different person. I stared at it, the unease settling deeper into my stomach.

The next one was a little more lighthearted, at least in theory. "What happens if I accidentally step into sunlight? Am I going to spontaneously combust? Because if so, I need to stock up on SPF 1000." I chuckled nervously, but the humor didn't reach my eyes. What if it wasn't a joke? What if I really was just a walking disaster waiting to happen?

I continued, "Can I still eat regular food, or is that a thing of the past? Because I am not ready to give up pizza." The thought of never having another slice of pepperoni was almost too much to bear. But what if it wasn't an option anymore? My stomach gave no answer, just an empty ache that seemed to echo in the silence of the room.

I wrote down more questions, one after the other. How do I keep my secret from everyone? The thought of being the "vampire girl" at school made me want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Can I see my reflection? I had no idea, but the idea of being a shadow without even a face to show felt like it would be worse than anything else.

I wasn't even sure how I could go on. Could I compel people like in those ridiculous TV shows? I shuddered at the thought. There was something both enticing and terrifying about that kind of power. But the question I dreaded the most was Who had bitten me? The more I thought about it, the more betrayal washed over me. Whoever did it had left me in this mess without even a word.

The list seemed endless, each question another reminder of how I had no idea how to deal with this. My hands gripped the edge of the table so tightly that my knuckles turned white. I was spiraling. I needed to stop. But how?

A soft laugh escaped me, though it sounded bitter even to my own ears. "Okay, this is absurd," I muttered, running a hand through my hair. The questions were absurd, but they were all I had. They were the only way I could cling to some semblance of control in a situation that had thrown me into a world I didn't understand.

I forced myself to look at the list again. "Can I still eat regular food?" The thought felt like a lifeline. If I could still eat, maybe I could hold on to some piece of my humanity. Maybe I wasn't entirely lost.

I walked to the counter, scanning the remnants of last night's baking: a few cookies and some cinnamon roll dough that had been left to rise. I grabbed a cookie—chocolate chip, still warm from yesterday—and took a hesitant bite. The taste hit me like a rush of comfort, a reminder of the world I used to belong to. I can still eat food, I thought, and for a second, a small flicker of relief passed through me.

But before I could bask in it too long, reality crept back in. What happens when I have to drink blood?

I turned to the cinnamon roll dough, trying to push the thoughts away. As I started rolling it out, the warm scent filled the air. I was still me, right? I was still the girl who baked cinnamon rolls, who laughed with her friends, who ate pizza without worrying about what was inside of her now. But that girl seemed so distant. I didn't even know if I could still be her.

When the rolls were finally in the oven, I took a moment to sit back down, my list still staring back at me. How do I keep the secret? That was the real question. If people found out, they'd never look at me the same way. High school was already a battleground—I didn't want to be the freak of the week.

I glanced down the list again. "Can I see my reflection?" I had checked that one off already. At least that one was easy to figure out. But the others... the others seemed impossible. What if the sun really burned me? What if I couldn't control the bloodlust? What if I became something... worse than what I already was?

Sighing, I stood up again, the weight of everything pressing down on me. I stepped toward the window, pulling the curtains back just enough to let a sliver of light through. My heart raced, that familiar sense of dread creeping in again.

Could I even handle this? Was I strong enough to survive it all? Or would I burn up in a matter of seconds, just like the stories said? I hesitated, then extended my hand towards the light.

The pain came quickly, sharper than I expected. A hot, searing pain shot through my fingers, and I pulled my hand back instinctively, clutching it to my chest. The sting lingered, but when I looked at my skin, there was nothing. No burn. No blister. Just a fading ache, like a warning.

I exhaled shakily, staring at the light that had almost consumed me. I can't live like this, I thought. I can't live in the shadows forever. But even as I thought it, a voice in my head pushed back: You'll figure it out. You just have to take it one step at a time.

I returned to my list, feeling the weight of all the unanswered questions pressing against me. How will I even live with this?

But I was still here. And that meant I had to find a way to move forward. Even if I was scared. Even if I didn't know what I was doing.

I just had to keep going.