Thanks, Grandpa.

Hell: there's no such thing...But there was.

That night I slept rough, on a bench in fact. It was uncomfortable but I couldn’t go home. Could you visualize the look on Grandma’s face if she seen that I’d bought a butcher’s knife? “What heavens for?” She say, petrified of what I might attempt to do with it. I’d not ever be let out of her sight again. So, it wasn’t an option. But now was great timing with Grandpa in hospital she’d be unable to remember I was even missing, result! And I was free to do what ever I pleased. At least I though I was.

That day I bounded round the town square, over and over and over and all over again. It made me lightheaded and woozy after awhile but I didn’t stop. I just kept walking around and around and around.

A woman in her twenty’s came up to me after a while. I couldn’t really make out her face, because she was wearing an obscure hoody but from the look of her studded biker boot’s I assumed she was Goth… not that it made any difference. But suddenly out of the blue, she grabbed my wrist, firmly and pulled me over to a nearby tree.

With a force she pinioned me up against it with both of her hands, aggressive on my ribcage. “You’re coming with me, son,” I nodded in a-I’ll-do-what-ever-you-say kind of way, “come on then, you wouldn’t want to miss the show, now would you” She said cunningly. I gulped, I wanted to go home. I was scared stiff, why did I run away? I guess I just wasn’t aware of how dangerous the real world was, I was a young fragile, target and anybody would jump at the chance to take advantage of me. What was she going to do with me? One thing was for sure, she wasn’t going to play dress-up or tea-party as I would have hoped. No, she was much more precarious and solemn than that.

She lugged, pushed and tortured me all the way to a room, high up in a block of filthy flats. My heart was racing as she threw me inside the flat and slammed the door behind her. She took her hoody down and revealed her ugly face. Her eyes swollen and blood red, her teeth like fangs, her hair purple, stuck up like a Mohawk, her lips and ears covered in piercings. My first though was Vampire. My second thought was… well I was so certain about my first thought I didn’t need a second. “Get your clothes off, NOW!” she screeched. I wept feebly but did what she said, I was too frightened not to. She slipped her clothes of whilst I tried to hide in the corner of the room, huddling up against the wall. I wanted to go home, I wanted to see Grandma. But then it struck me like thunder, I still had the knife; I’d hidden in in my trouser pocket. I could kill her, self defence. I just had to find the right time to do so.

Naked, she dragged me over to the bed, I was trying to hang onto the wall but it was useless. She strapped me down and then raped me. I could feel her body, rubbing against my own, it was a horrible feeling and it made me feel physically sick. I cried for help but she shielded over mouth with her lips. My eyes swamped with tears and I was disarray, this was the thing that everyone fears and when it truly does take place you feel like death. There and then, I’d lost my virginity and I was in the worst position of my life, it was like a nightmare… if only it was.

I reached down beside the bed with my hand and grasped hold of the knife with my sweaty palms. I tallied numbers in my head down to zero, it was time. With all my strength… which wasn’t much… I swung the knife, it was level with the bed, the lady was to busy raping me to notice. I gave it one last swing and stabbed it into her thigh. I'd saved my own life... I'd done it... so I'd thought ...

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