Unspoken Truths

Finding Myself

Genesis POV

Months had passed and it was now April. They were the longest months of my life. Between the tears for Naiari and the death of my sister I fell into a deep depression. I felt I could never get out but something in me changed. I started attending school again and I stopped smoking as much as I did before. I made a conscious effort to shift my focus. I started to hit the books again, prioritizing my grades that had slipped so dramatically. I found solace in studying, burying myself in assignments and projects. If I couldn't have Naiari, at least I could regain control of my life in other ways.

I tried to shake off the feelings, to convince myself that what I had with Naiari was fleeting, that I had to focus on myself. It wasn't easy. The pain of seeing her happy with someone else twisted in my chest like a knife, but I was determined not to let it consume me.

I felt my phone buzz while I was studying and I picked it up, seeing that it was my friends.

The GOATS

Layton- hey guys wanna meet up at our spot?

Des- yeah ofc considering we live in the same house. Lol

BrayBray- hell yeah i'm down for sure, i'll pay for us all.

Layton- thanks bray, what about you Gen are you coming?

BrayBray- hopefully she answers.

I read the group chat and plotted on going on not but i knew getting out the house was important for me to grow. Plus I really missed my friends. It was so much I wanted and needed to know.

The GOATS

Hey guys I'm down to go! What time are we leaving out ?- Gen

Layton- heyy babyy we should meet up around 3 they are having that new sale andddd bray said he is paying.

Des- yaaay so excited to see you guys!!

Okkay ill see you guys at 3- Gen

I put up my books and papers and went to shower. It had been a minute since I listened to music in the shower so I grabbed my speaker and turned my playlist on shuffle. I hopped in the shower and "From Eden" by Hozier started to play. I sang softly and danced a bit as I cleaned my body and eventually I stepped out after 7 songs. I wrapped myself in my robe and started to do my deep skin care. My skin had become clearer than the sky and I was loving it . I put very light makeup on and went to my room to find an outfit.

I pulled out a black skirt with a faux collar and a gray sweatshirt. I had recently dyed my natural hair black so I silk pressed it into a style. I got dressed and put on some white socks with some rick owens. I threw on some of my gold jewelry and glasses then I looked in the mirror. I felt so..pretty. I hadn't felt like this in months so it was breathtaking. I smiled and grabbed my purse as I headed out to the train station. I got on the train and headed to the cafe.

20 minutes passed and I got there at 3 on the dot. I saw my friends and I ran to them and we had a group hug. We haven't hung out in so long. I missed them so much. We grabbed our usual table and we all ordered our usual drinks and pastries.

"Hey, you're looking a lot better," Layton remarked to me as i sipped don my hot chocolate

"Thanks. I feel alot better.. I've been trying to focus on school," I replied, my voice steadier than I felt.

"We are so proud of you girl and we miss you alot" Des smiled and held my hand.

"You've got this, Gen. Just remember, it's okay to feel what you feel." Layton smiled at me and sipped on her tea.

Once we were finished without pastries and drinks we walked across the street to the park. I sat on a rock and possessed a few pictures as Braydon took them. He was amazing at taking pictures and I loved it. I found one that I liked as we all sat on the grass talking and laughing. I posted the picture adding a song and a cute little caption and I set my phone down to enjoy the times with my friends.

A couple hours passed and we all split our ways and I headed home. I finished up my homework and then I checked my phone to see a bunch of people liked my post. But somebody caught my eye.. Naiari.. She liked my post. I never unfollowed her or blocked her but it was just shocking to me because she acted like didn't exist to her but I didn't go too deep in thought about it. We have 2 more weeks of school that I have to get over and then boom I'll be a senior. A new chapter in my life.

*Fast forward two weeks *

As my junior jitters turned into senioritis it was finally summer. I wanted to start new things for myself so I started looking into hobbies. I began running in the mornings, feeling the sun on my skin and the wind in my hair. I took up painting, pouring my feelings onto the canvas, letting colors splash together in chaotic beauty.

I convinced my friends to go painting with me in my little art studio and they said yes. We went to my studio and we just chatted and painted.

"Are you seeing anyone?" Braydon asked curiously, I knew he still had a small crush on me but he was always respectful about it and I loved that about him.

"No, not really. I'm just focusing on myself," I replied, my heart feeling lighter with each passing day.

"I think that's a good plan," he said. "You deserve to take your time."

And I did. I poured my energy into my self learning, accepting different things about me and around me. I finally accepted that I liked girls and it was a relief and a weight off my shoulders.

But as I focused on my self-growth, I noticed my feelings for Naiari shifting, too. I wasn't angry at her anymore and I was letting go of the past. I forgave her in ways I didn't think were possible. I knew her and Miani were together and I was happy that she was happy. I longer felt the deep pang of jealousy I felt once before. Instead, I found a sense of acceptance.

"Are you ready for the beach trip?" Layton asked as we were planning out summer activities.

"Yeah! I'm actually really looking forward to it. I bought this new swim suit. It's sooo pretty" I replied, a smile spreading across my face.

"It'll be nice to relax after all those exams" Des laughed and spread out on the ground.

As I looked forward to our trip, I realized that I was ready to embrace whatever came next.

One night, as I lay in bed, I reflected on how far I'd come. I scrolled on tiktok and laughed at a few and then I got a text from a random number. I opened the text and it read..

"Genesis, can we talk? I need you."

I wasn't sure who it was.. And I contemplated on responding but I did..