LOVE OR SEX || Radioapple

Chapter 07

Alastor's backstory weighed heavily on his mind, though he rarely spoke about it. Once a dedicated police officer, he had been involved in a high-stakes case that spiraled out of control due to a critical mistake. The fallout led to a personal tragedy—he lost someone close to him because of that error, and the guilt consumed him. It had all spiraled from there: his resignation, a brief stint in prison, and the deep shame that clung to him afterward.

His impotence was a direct reflection of the emotional wounds he carried. It wasn't a physical issue but a mental one, rooted in his guilt, shame, and overwhelming sense of powerlessness. Alastor had always seen his body as a tool for others' control—a means to punish himself for his past mistakes.

Now, as Lucifer leaned back into him, their strange connection deepened, though it was far from typical. The two had reached a climax out of sheer curiosity and mutual attraction, but the air remained heavy with unspoken tension.

Alastor, his chest rising and falling in rhythm with his shallow breaths, looked over at Lucifer, his eyes clouded with confusion and lingering emotions. After a moment of silence, he finally asked, "Why won't you have sex with me, boss?"

Lucifer, who had been resting his head on the tub's edge, smirked but didn't meet Alastor's gaze immediately. Instead, he ran a finger absentmindedly over his own chest, tracing lazy circles on his skin, considering the question. He had noticed the way Alastor's eyes lingered on him, and the underlying tension between them had only grown more palpable over time. But Lucifer, emotionally detached and cruel in his methods, had his reasons.

"Because, Alastor," Lucifer finally replied, his voice low and laced with amusement, "you seem like the type who'd go for gentle, vanilla sex. And I won't do that—at least not yet."

Alastor blinked, his brow furrowing as he tried to process Lucifer's words. "Gentle? Vanilla?" he repeated, incredulous.

Lucifer finally met his gaze, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Yeah. You look like the kind of guy who wants... intimacy. Something real. And you're just not ready for what I offer."

Alastor was quiet for a long moment. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting from Lucifer, but this wasn't it. He thought maybe, just maybe, Lucifer might show him something different—something beyond the power dynamics that had always defined his relationships. But it was clear now that Lucifer had no intention of giving him that.

Lucifer smirked at Alastor's expression. "You want me to be the one to make things real for you?" he asked, a mock sweetness in his voice. "To make it all... meaningful?"

Alastor clenched his jaw, struggling to suppress the swirl of conflicting emotions that were rising within him. The desire for connection, the shame of his past, and the pain of knowing that Lucifer would never give him what he truly needed.

But even as Alastor processed Lucifer's words, he realized something else: despite everything, despite Lucifer's cold detachment and cruelty, he was becoming deeply attached to him. He couldn't stop it, no matter how hard he tried. His loyalty to Lucifer as a bodyguard had begun to blur into something more complicated, something he couldn't entirely control.

Lucifer noticed the way Alastor's jaw tightened and chuckled softly. "Don't take it so hard, Alastor. You're still useful to me, in more ways than one." He leaned in close, his breath hot against Alastor's ear. "And besides, who knows? Maybe one day, you'll earn something more than just a little bellybutton play."

Alastor's hand twitched, his instincts screaming at him to react—to do something. But instead, he remained still, his loyalty and sense of duty holding him in place, despite the turmoil inside.

Lucifer pulled back with a satisfied grin, clearly enjoying the torment he was inflicting on Alastor. "You're too good at keeping yourself in check. Makes me wonder what would happen if you ever let go."