AMOTGD

CHAPTER XXV

‘I hate this. I can’t stand this relationship anymore.’

Covering my lips, sticky with his discharge, with the back of my hand, I cried out earnestly. The sorrow and indignation were unbearable.

No matter how accustomed I was to a hierarchical society, being treated worse than an animal didn’t mean I wasn’t human. Besides, I’m not even from this world.

“Don’t cry, Julie, I…”

He seemed startled when I started sobbing aloud, reaching out to hold me. For the first time, I slapped his hand away and, with a flushed face, screamed at him.

“Don’t touch me! It’s disgusting!”

His hand, reaching to caress my cheek, froze in mid-air, but I didn’t care. It didn’t matter if he beheaded me right here and now.

I’d endured worse and would endure worse still. What difference did it make?

So, with the resolve that I wouldn’t mind losing my head at that very moment, I unleashed everything I had been suppressing.

“I’m pregnant with your child too! But you only cared about your wife and ignored me completely!”

Saying that made me feel like the worst kind of scum, but let’s leave the context aside. That doesn’t mean I was right. In my opinion, all adulterers deserve to die.

‘Damn, maybe that’s why I’m going to get killed!’

The more I thought about it, the more enraged and wronged I felt. Naked on the floor, I pounded it and cried uncontrollably.

“I told you I didn’t want this! I told you not to come inside me! I told you I was marrying another man!”

Maybe he was shocked that I was pregnant. His eyes widened, then narrowed sharply when I mentioned marrying another man. But what was he going to do about it now?

I was fed up with playing along with his whims, so I screamed at the top of my lungs.

“Do whatever you want! Kill Paul or whatever, do as you please!”

I was destined to die anyway, so I’d settle my debt to Paul in the next life. No matter how hard I tried, this life was hopeless. I crawled on the floor, crying my heart out.

My baby is pitiful, and so am I. Our fates are the most tragic of all.

They say hormones surge during pregnancy, maybe maternal instincts too. I felt overwhelming sympathy for my daughter, whom I thought was the main character of this story. Why did we have to suffer like this?

So, I banged on the floor with such force that it echoed, and with my eyes red from crying, I pointed a shaking finger at him.

“What are you going to do now! Are you going to abandon me?! If you are, then do it quickly! Don’t play with me and then throw me away! And give me money! Did I make this baby alone?!”

I told you not to come inside me! I told you to do it outside! Why did you have to do the one thing I told you not to, and mess up my life? What are you going to do now? What are you going to do?

I didn’t care if people outside could hear me anymore. Whether I died today or tomorrow didn’t matter. I had learned that how you die is more important than when you die, hadn’t I done enough already?

Unable to contain my anger, I panted heavily and then collapsed onto the floor, my lips trembling. At that moment, a large sheet from the bed came down over my head, as if to cover my naked body. Without a chance to look up, someone lifted me into their arms and placed me on the bed.

“Uh….”

Then, when I made eye contact with him, I hiccupped. I didn’t understand what was happening. In the novel, I was supposed to be abandoned after getting pregnant, but this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

Proving my confusion, he gently reached out and brushed my wet hair back, then asked in a somewhat bewildered voice.

“A baby… no, but why…?”

He held my arm, looking like he didn’t know where to start or what to ask.

“Why did you run away?”

Exactly, why did I run away? I blinked, trying hard to find the answer. Because I knew I would be abandoned if I got pregnant? But how could I explain that to him? Because you were going to leave me? So I left first?

“So, I…”

As my tone became polite again, he furrowed his brow and sharply interrogated me.

“Did Luina bully you?”

Uh, well. To be exact, she treated me quite well.

“Hey, come here and try this.”

“Here, wear this. You’ll look great.”

“Go on, who told you to do such things.”

Come to think of it, she never really bullied me, even as a joke. She could be a bit curt, but considering she’s a high and mighty Grand Duchess, she was actually quite considerate. It would be absurd for a noblewoman to show such kindness to a mere maid, especially one having an affair with her husband.

‘Then why did I run away?’

Was it because I felt guilty? Because I was ashamed of having an affair with a married man? Was my conscience too much for me to bear?

‘If that were the case, shouldn’t I have run away long ago?’