AMOTGD

CHAPTER XXXVll

Inhaling deeply, Ernst felt himself becoming intoxicated by her scent, and by the time he regained his senses, he found her smiling brightly within his sight, as if ready to offer her neck to him at any moment.

And yet, despite knowing nothing, she dared to run from him instinctively, trembling with fear.

How dare she, how dare she, how dare she. Without me even realizing it, how very dare she?

The thought that he almost lost sight of her filled him with dread, his gaze hardening. It felt as though his body was heating up from below. The desire to tie her up and shoot her full of something—perhaps that explained it.

To bind her, to restrain her, to have her before him, to face her fearful gaze, to entwine her writhing limbs trying to escape.

The mere beauty of this imagination made him unknowingly lick his dry lips out of thirst.

That day, I made my first dedication.

And it was for you, Julie.

***

There are many things in the world that are better left unknown, like one’s first love.

He didn’t understand why interest and curiosity could transform into love. Perhaps most people didn’t.

Maybe it was simply because he noticed her, paid attention to her.

“Who knows, idiot. It happened because you liked her,” someone like Luina might say, easily summing it up.

It didn’t matter now why Ernst’s interest in Julie stemmed from her unique behavior or her constant evasion. The fact was, once his gaze landed on her, he couldn’t easily look away.

At first, he approached her honestly, believing no one would spit in the face of a smiling person. He thought his decent looks and status would be more than enough.

“Young Duke, if you continue like this, I’ll have to report this to the butler.”

“It’s late, and I’ve come instead. Do you have any instructions?”

“If you had any orders, my lord, I’ll send someone up.”

Maybe he should have aimed to recruit her as a spy rather than an aide.

Her awareness was exceptional. Whenever he tried to summon her, she would avoid him like a ghost, sending another maid or even a nanny in her place. If that didn’t work, she’d ask the butler to take her place.

At this point, it was clear: either he was clumsy, or she was exceptionally skillful.

At that time, Ernst’s nights were the worst. No joke, they were literally the worst.

“Haa, ugh… ha, Julie. Julie.”

Even as he mxstxrbxted, imagining her not looking back and walking away, his pride would get in the way. He would punch his mouth with one hand while gripping his throbbing member with the other.

‘She’s not even that pretty!’

Biting his lips, he held his breath and pictured her.

Julie, with her maid uniform removed, her brxxsts exposed, her wrists tied behind her, trembling. Julie, her skirt hiked up to her waist, crying beneath him, begging him to stop. Forcing her bloomers into her mouth while rubbing her wet entrance, making her cry out.

“Ugh!”

In the end, the climax always involved him shoving his member into her tear-filled mouth, ejaculating thickly, making her gag and spill it from her lips.

After those self-destructive mxstxrbxtion sessions, a burning shame would wash over him.

But what could he do? He was only sixteen back then.

Despite his strong personality, his body was just sixteen. Ever since he discovered wet dreams, Julie was always the object of his feverish fantasies. Some days, she would appear as a temptress in a thin robe, and other days, she was tied to the canopy bedpost, weeping and offering herself.

And then there were days…

“Damn it.”

He thought, Let’s stop. I can’t go on like this. If I stay like this, I’ll…

“What? You’re enlisting in the military?”

He was afraid he’d make a mistake with her.

Around the same time, his father died in battle, aligning perfectly with his deployment ceremony.

He left without saying goodbye. The staff came to see him off, but he deliberately didn’t look back.

After all, no matter how much he tried to win her favor, Julie never gave him a second glance. If things remained the same when he returned, it would be better to die on the battlefield. And if she got married in the meantime…

「If that’s the case, don’t even bother asking, idiot.」

He crumpled the telegraph from Luina, filled with derision, and closed his eyes. He was reminded anew of how searing the fever of holding someone in your heart could be… so intense…

So intensely burning that it made him want to drag someone else’s love into the inferno.

「Shall I send your lover into the flames too?」

That night, during the raid on the enemy’s bunker, Ernst’s ominous remark, added kindly alongside a mention of Kainri’s heroic tale of providing cover fire, proved to be highly effective.

From the next day onward, news about Julie started coming in regularly, with small but precious details included, like her three meals a day and such.