all the broken pieces

let it hurt until it cant hurt anymore

other people hurt.
sometimes more than i do.
part of it makes me feel selfish.
part of it makes me feel more powerful.
just let it hurt till it cant anymore.

i sit with my hands on both knees, my eyes closed, i bring it towards my wrist, my veins are very prominent, i have the thought, them bursting, the ambulance wont come till its too late, its the perfect plan.

all of the sudden i hear scratches on my bathroom door, i open it, to see bull sitting there. i look at him,
i cant leave him.

am i crazy??