Shadow & Smoke

Chapter 15

Three weeks had passed since I first saw Malachi. Even though his visits had become a nightly occurrence and we'd gotten to know each other a lot better, I still couldn't quite wrap my head around everything.

In the day, I would go to work and pretend that my life wasn't completely out of control and at night, I'd go home and wait for Malachi to appear. He'd often spend the entire night with me until I fell asleep.

I even found myself making excuses to go home and not spend time with my friends so that I could have more time with Malachi.

No matter how much I tried to keep myself tethered to reality, I felt it slipping further away from me each night that I spent with Malachi.

But, even with that realization, I couldn't bring myself to put a stop to it. The comfort that I felt with Malachi was something else entirely. Once I got past the initial fear, it annoyed me more than anything the way he toyed with me.

Over the weeks, Malachi didn't stop playing his games with me but I suppose I began to let him. In return, he opened up to me a little more each night. It wasn't much and it was usually the end result of my constant nagging for more information but it was better the nothing.

In return, Malachi had learned more about me than anyone else ever had. Without meaning to, I let him in more and more each night the way he let me in, too. It was almost therapeutic for me although I never could tell what Malachi was thinking at any given time.

Even after the added time we spent together, there was still so much about Malachi that I didn't know and I feared I never would. He was guarded and I knew for good reason. I had yet to process the fact that he was only barely a man. What else did he have to tell me that would completely shatter the foundations of my reality?

"You're thinking hard." Malachi's deep inflection.

I snapped back to reality as I sat on the couch eating popcorn across from Malachi. We'd purposely kept our physical distance because it was best that way. It was my condition to letting him pop up every night.

So far, it had been casual—albeit an intensely charged time together. Our relationship had gone from predator and prey to a more symbiotic one. It hadn't been me to make that change as much as I preferred it from how things were before. I much preferred him showing up to talk rather than stalk me in my nightmares and make me think I was losing my mind.

But, I still think I am sometimes.

"Nothing." I lied but I knew he'd call my bluff. He always did.

Lounging back on the opposite side of the couch dressed in a dark suit minus the jacket that was hung nearby, Malachi examined me and it was almost like he could read my mind.

I wasn't sure that he couldn't to be honest.

Narrowing his eyes at me, neither of us were actually watching the movie playing, I knew that he hated when I wasn't honest with him. For someone that rarely ever gave me a straight answer, I found that to be hilarious.

"I was just thinking about the first time I saw you." I shrugged and that seemed to please him more. His interest was piqued.

"And what exactly about it?"

I hesitated. There was so much that I'd actually been pondering but none of which I truly wanted to share with him. "I've never been so terrified in my life."

My response was not what Malachi was expecting and it showed. It was so rare that I saw a brief glimpse of raw emotion from him. He seemed to work extremely hard to keep a strong facade up at all times. Or maybe, after so long, it wasn't work so much as second nature.

"That's who I am." Malachi sighed as if my words wounded him. With no response and to my surprise, he offered more, "I'm the bad guy, love. I'm the monster under your bed and everything that goes bump in the night."

My blood went cold but my reaction differed from before. Instead of wanting to run away, I wanted to know more.

"You say that..." I noted cautiously, not wanting him to shut me out as he was accustomed to. "But, here you are watching Netflix on my couch."

With that, he would either say more or shut me out entirely and leave. When I got to close or struck a nerve that was too close to home, he cut and ran. I was still trying to navigate a relationship with him where I had to walk on eggshells.

It was insufferable but I would tolerate it for even a second longer with him.

Malachi seemed to contemplate his next words carefully before he spoke again, "I shouldn't be here."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Even I know that."

The silence loomed for a moment.

"Being here goes against everything that I am and everything that I do. There will be consequences for being with you with nothing to show for it."

Ouch.

His words cut like glass and my face must have shown the hurt because he sighed with frustration and tried to think of a better way to explain.

"I make deals, love. I deal in the currency of souls."

In other words, he was with me and had no transaction to show for it. I hadn't traded my soul.

"If you're not supposed to be here, then why are you?" I asked bravely even though I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer yet again.

Malachi hesitated and I wasn't sure if it was because he didn't want to tell me the truth or if it was because he didn't know the answer, either.

I worried what his answer would be. Deep down, I wanted him to be here for me and because he felt whatever it was that I felt between us and he needed more. I hoped that I wasn't imagining the connection we shared but there was always a chance.

"I honestly don't know." Malachi shrugged as he avoided my gaze for the first time ever.

The unknown had become so familiar to me as of late. I'd never been very good at having things figured out but I usually made it work somehow. When the only options you had were to make it work or die trying, you got creative.

"That makes two of us." I laughed but Malachi only raised an eyebrow at me.

"What don't you know, love?" He asked as he scooted closer to me on the couch.

If I didn't know before, I sure as hell wasn't going to figure it out with him sitting so damn close to me. He was more than intoxicating and I was so past addicted.

"Anything..." I barely whispered.

To say that I wasn't prepared for Malachi's lips against my own would be an understatement. I'd known electricity from him since the moment we'd met. But what it felt like when we both came together was something else entirely.

My hands grasped at his long hair before I could stop myself. His hands pulled me closer against him with one hand at my hip and one at my neck. It was raw and charged and both pleasurable and painful at the same time.

By the time we came up for air, my mind was a reeling like a bad bout of vertigo. I pulled back and braced myself with both hands on the couch. It almost hurt to catch my breath but I managed.

"I shouldn't have done that." Malachi admitted but we were so fucking far past that.

I chucked, "Okay, let's pretend it didn't happen then."

Returning to his side of the couch, Malachi rolled his eyes at me and that made me laugh. Usually, I was the one who had a affinity for rolling their eyes.

"We'd have to go back far longer if we wanted to erase us."

Us.

I hated how much I liked the sound of that.