Underrated emotions

ch # 8 : First MEETING OR LAST ONE?

D_DAY....

finally it's a day I have been waiting for. I am so excited to meet  him .....I take extra time than usual to get ready , I doll up and ready to meet him . I take early morning bus by an excuse that I have an event at college so I have to go early so that mom don't get suspicious.......I get 6:00 AM bus which drop me to college, I then take another bus to my real destination..... It's hot day so I wear a mask so that my mess up makeup get hide in that mask ....... finally!!!
I am walking on a road after getting off from bus , he calls me to ask where I am ....
I'll be there soon, I reply..........
I enter through door and straight go to upstairs to fix myself............He again calls and ask where I am......still on phone .
I  had never been good at first impressions. my palms were slightly sweaty as I stand  by the door, adjusting my  jacket for the tenth time. The library' cafeteria is bustling with chatter, the soft clink of cups and the hum of background music, but all I could focus on is  him.

Addy is  seated at a small couch by the window, he is talking to his friend , his gaze fixed on the screen of his phone. He didn’t even seem to notice my approach at first, his eyes darting between the phone and the passing people outside. I  hesitate, then took a deep breath, reminding myself stay calm.
I was watching him from 2nd floor ,I then go come from upstairs in 1st floor and he is still talking to his friend . He doesn't notice me first .....I get closer to him ...

"Hi," I say, my voice a little higher than I intend. I step  closer, offering a tentative smile

Addy looked up slowly, his eyes briefly meeting mine before he glanced back at his phone. "Hey," he muttered, his tone flat, almost distracted. He dont stand up, don't even put the phone down. Just gave a small, disinterested nod.

I feel a flicker of embarrassment heat my cheeks, but I mask  it with a smile. "I’m Era," I say, trying to fill the silence. I gesture  to the empty chair across from him. "Mind if I sit?"

He don't immediately respond. He take a slow glance at his phone, then let out a soft sigh, almost like he is waiting for her to give up and leave. After a moment, he give a small shrug, almost as if it didn’t matter either way. "Sure, I guess."

I sit down, the chair scraping against the floor, and I feel an uncomfortable lump in my throat. The conversation should’ve been easy, but instead it felt like I am pulling at threads, struggling to make a connection.

I try again, a little more casually. "So… you come here often?"

he look  up briefly, his eyes scanning the room without really focusing on her. "Not really," he says, shrugging again. "Just need some quiet."

I am not sure whether to laugh or keep pushing. He lookn almost bored, like he’d rather be anywhere else, doing anything else. I take a slow sip of my own coffee, then glance at the window.

The awkwardness stretch between us like a gap neither seem eager to bridge. I fiddle with my book, my eyes darting over his shoulder as if I could find something more interesting to focus on than the strain silence.

he continue to scroll through his phone, tapping at the screen absentmindedly. The lack of interest is clear, like he is not even trying to pretend.

my heart sank a little, my mind racing to find a way to salvage this moment. But the more I think  about it, the more it became apparent: he isn't interested. Not in her. Not in this.

"Right," I say after a long pause, giving up on the conversation. I push  myself  back. "I’ll, uh, leave you to it."

I stand up, not waiting for him to respond. There is a part of mine that want  him to call me back, to say something—anything—that shows  he is engaged. But he doesn't.

As I turn to leave, I hear him mutter, “See you.” The words are  so casual, so indifferent, they barely register.

I don't look back.

listening to him........he then starts using his phone and talking to his female friends when I am right in front of him . This piss me off but I don't say anything as it's our finally 1st meeting. I let it go . ..He says he is hungry so let's eat something. so I turn to him and says Yes ! why not .
then we  start's talking about anything else......After a minute he again says let's go! eat something.....and he suddenly shouts while using the phone and starts to abuse.
I get scared . what happen to him ?why is he shouting? why is he abusing? I don't a word at this time , I just want to go home now. I feel little uncomfortable about his behavior.

------
We go to a restaurant to eat something and he keep asking what I want to eat. I say whatever you like just order I'll eat that,I reply.
He order and he starts eating and again using his phone ...I feel ignore ....I don't have any appetite now.....I haven't take one bite as I get confuse by all this.....he finishes his meal while talking to his female friend and I am sitting like an idiot............
I say to him that I want to go home . He drop me home and leave without a word.....
I come home all tired and take a good sleep.
In evening I texts him and tell him about all things what I experience.....
Ohhh !! I was hungry so I shouted, I didn't shout at you and I was talking to my female friend to ask if everything is okay in university.....you are misunderstanding Era , He reply with all this excuses.....
after listening to him I feel somehow bad but I think I should let go these small things.
but in a same time I am thinking that its was our 1st official meeting and he behaved unserious about it........Let it go Era! let it go! I keep saying this to myself.......
After this he stops texting me for some days and I am waiting for his texts.. I also stops asking why is he doing this. I don't know it just happens and many days pass like this ...
He starts sending me empty texts and I keep waiting for him to text me .It seems like he is loosing interest in me....... it's like empty relationship where one is trying hard and other is probably not.......I starts getting depression attacks as I stop praying. I used to pray regularly but now I am skipping prayers.......I want to cry but can't, I want to share but don't know whom to ,I even skip college that I get suspension letter.so many things in my mind ..........I can't seem to control all these things all by myself .....
He rarely text me , I keep waiting all night and day staring at phone, I can't find any excuse to talk to him ....what do I do now?....

                             TO BE CONTINUED.............

follow my  insta acc for living scenes of novel🎀💌
stay tuned 💅
next ch will be soon🌷🧸.....