SPECTRAL (BxB)

-08-

-AKIRO-

After my birthday, Tamaro talk to me about our relationship. I feel that I lost someone is very important to me. He said sorry even he didn't do anything bad against me. I am the who has a problem. I can't stand with my feelings to him. Confession and doubting my feelings for him is my problem. I'm already twenty years old and I am in the legal age.

I know he loves me so much and I felt it. I love him also but not deep as he is. When he said that he will give time to me to think about my feelings to me. I just realize something. I don't want to lose him.

I feel anxious while I was waiting for him in the dorm. It's three in the morning and he's still didn't comeback when he left. I didn't sleep, I was waiting for him. When he come back, I stand up and about to go to him but he just looks at me and smile then he just passes by me and went to the room. It's like my heart was ripped out when I saw his swollen eyes.

When he enters the room. I'm just in the sofa still looking at the door where he enters. I didn't notice that my tears are already fallen. What did I do to him? I should be the one who must understand him because I am his partner, but I let my immaturity eat me.

I was hurt seeing him is hurting. I silently cry in the living room. Thinking what I have done. I am selfish. I am coward. I want him to come back to me.

We are in the airport when I posted a song in twitter. I screenshot the lyrics at 1:23 with the highlighted lyrics "come back to me". I just want to tell him that I want him again. He didn't break up with me, but I feel like we broke up because we didn't talk after my birthday. Joshua sits beside me and bump my shoulder so I look at him and he is serious.

"Tell me, I will listen," he said. I know what he is talking about but I pretend I didn't know.

"Huh?"

"I know something happened between you and Tamaro and not just me. All the members feel that is something wrong. We just keep silent. Now tell me what is it," he said seriously. I think I need someone to talk about this, I want to burst out into tears right now with Joshua. I gulp first before I told him everything. He didn't say anything until I finished, he just listens to me.

"Joshua, it's my fault," I said trying not to cry. We are at the airport and a little bit far from the members.

"It's given that you are confused with your feeling to him. But it doesn't mean it was your fault. You are still young Akiro. Maybe you are just use to be with him 24/7 and you think you are already in love with him," he said and wrap his arm on my shoulder.

"Bro, I don't want to lose him," I said.

"If you don't want to lose him. Talk to him and tell everything what you want to tell him, "He said.

"Thank you, bro," I'm thankful because we are surrounded with the people who understand us.

When we arrive at the hotel in Thailand. We gathered all in one room for a brief meeting. He is still silent in the corner. When the meeting is finished, we all stand up and we're about to go to our rooms when we heard something drop in the floor and when we look back. He is looking at his phone on the floor. We look at each other and Stephen come to him and pick up the phone. He is still standing there and didn't move. I saw his hand is shaking. Stephen gives the phone to Joshua ang hug Tamaro.

When Stephen hug him he burst into cry. My heart was ripped seeing him crying. Joshua handed the phone to us and we read the message. Tears flow to my eyes when I read that his grandma died. I run to him and approach him. Stephen releases his hug to Tamaro and give way to me. I hug him tightly and cry for him. I heard that the members also were crying.