Coffee and Cream

Mal's Death

DARCELLE

I was sitting at my usual corner in the library, the soft hum of silence wrapped around me like a blanket as I flipped through the pages of my textbook. I loved the library. It was one of the few places where I could be left alone, my mind free to wander without any interruptions. That is, until Nathan rushed in, practically running across the room to take the seat opposite me. I barely glanced up. His presence was always loud, like a constant static in my life.

"Have you heard the news?" he asked, breathless.

I didn't even bother looking up from my book. "What news?"

Nathan should've known by now—I didn't fuck with gossip. I didn't care for the endless stream of rumors or drama circulating around campus. If it wasn't said directly to my face, I wouldn't hear it. I wasn't like Nathan, who thrived on the chatter and the energy of it all.

"Mal's dead," he said, the words hanging heavy in the air.

I scoffed, not even pretending to entertain the idea. "Yeah, right, and I'm a vampire." I was with Mal just yesterday. We'd grabbed a bite to eat after he got off work. He was fine. Healthy. He even made some dumb joke about how we should hang out more often and that I shouldn't keep him at arm's length. I was warming up to him, letting him in little by little. I wasn't ready for anything serious, but maybe I was curious. Maybe I wanted to see what would happen if I gave him a real chance. Hell, I even almost let him kiss me.

But then Emrys crept into my mind. His face, that signature glare of his, eyes burning with possessiveness. And just like that, I pulled back. I didn't let Mal close the distance. A part of me knew I was still tethered to Emrys even when he wasn't around. He had told me to be more discreet with my texts, and I was getting tired of being treated like some hidden sidepiece. So yeah, maybe I hung out with Mal out of spite, but I didn't have the guts to follow through. I never did.

Nathan leaned in, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I'm serious, Darcelle. Apparently, he was found dead in his apartment. CO2 poisoning from his water heater."

I froze. The room around me dimmed as those words sank in. My book lay forgotten in my lap. "Shit, are you serious?" I whispered back, my voice barely holding steady. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. The air suddenly thickened and became heavy.

Nathan nodded solemnly. "Dead serious... Probably the worst time to use that phrase, but yeah."

The weight of his words hit me like a truck, and before I could stop them, tears slid down my cheeks. I didn't understand it. Death. How could someone just be there one minute and gone the next? It felt surreal, like some kind of cosmic joke. The idea of it all—the randomness, the permanence—terrified me. Mal was gone. Just like that. He was probably sitting in his apartment one minute, alive, breathing, thinking about who knows what, and now... nothing.

I wiped my tears quickly, feeling stupid for crying in the middle of the library. The few students around shot me looks, some shushing me, others just staring. Nathan looked uncomfortable, like he didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry," he murmured, reaching out as if to comfort me.

But the thing was, the tears weren't for Mal. Not really. Sure, I was sad, and I'd miss him. He was a good guy. I barely knew him, but I could see us becoming something if I had just let him in a little more. I cried for me, for my own fear of death. For the realization that life could just... stop. I wasn't ready to face that. I wasn't ready to admit that I, too, would one day cease to exist.

I shivered. I hoped Mal was in a better place, whatever that meant. Heaven, hell, reincarnation—who the fuck knew. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe death was just that—nothingness. And that thought terrified me more than anything.