𝐈𝐌 𝐓𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃

𝟎𝟎𝟑

As the evening wore on, the dorm filled with the usual banter and laughter, the air buzzing with the energy of the group. Jake tried to immerse himself in it, let the noise drown out the thoughts still clawing at the edges of his mind, but the weight hadn't fully lifted. If anything, the more he watched the others, the more the pressure built. They were so carefree, so unburdened. And here he was, struggling just to breathe.

Heeseung's voice broke through the haze. "Hey, Jake, you've been quiet tonight. Everything alright?"

The question hung in the air, and suddenly all eyes were on him. The easygoing atmosphere tightened as curiosity flickered across their faces. Jake's pulse quickened. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready for them to see.

"I'm fine," he said, his voice too sharp, too defensive. He felt it the second the words left his mouth, the tension thickening as the room fell silent. Heeseung's brows knitted together, the concern in his eyes deepening.

"Jake..." Heeseung started, but Jake was already up, his legs moving before he could think. He couldn't handle the looks, the questions, the way their eyes seemed to bore into him like they knew-like they knew he was falling apart.

"I said I'm fine," Jake snapped, louder this time, his voice cutting through the quiet like a blade.

The room froze.

He saw Sunghoon glance at him, a flash of alarm in his eyes, but it was too late. The anger, the frustration, the helplessness-all of it came rushing to the surface in a tidal wave he couldn't control anymore.

"You guys are always acting like everything's great, like it's so easy for you, but it's not for me. I'm not okay, and I don't know how to be! I don't even know who I am anymore!" Jake's voice cracked, the words spilling out before he could stop them, raw and jagged. "But no one sees it, no one even notices-"

"Jake, we do notice-" Jay tried to cut in, but Jake wasn't listening.

"You don't get it!" Jake's voice trembled, his fists clenched at his sides. "I'm drowning, and I'm so tired of pretending everything's fine when it's not! You all look at me like I'm supposed to hold it together, like I'm supposed to be okay all the time, but I'm not!"

The silence that followed was deafening. Jake's heart pounded in his ears, the room spinning as he struggled to catch his breath. His chest heaved with the force of everything he'd been holding back for so long. And now it was out there, exposed, bleeding, for everyone to see.

For a long moment, no one said anything. They just stared, wide-eyed, as if they didn't know what to do with this broken version of Jake standing in front of them.

It was Sunghoon who finally spoke, his voice calm but laced with pain. "Jake, we don't expect you to be perfect. We never have."

Jake shook his head, his voice hollow. "But that's what it feels like. Every single day, I feel like I have to be someone I'm not-someone who has it all together. But I don't. I'm losing myself, and I can't keep pretending like everything's fine when it's not."

Heeseung stood up, walking toward him slowly, like he was approaching a wounded animal. "Jake, why didn't you tell us sooner? We're your family, we're supposed to go through this together."

Jake's throat tightened. He could feel the tears burning in his eyes again, but he refused to let them fall. "Because I didn't want to drag you all down with me. You're already dealing with so much, I didn't want to make things harder."

"We want to know what's going on with you," Jay said, his voice quiet but firm. "That's what being a team is about. It's not just about performing together. It's about taking care of each other."