cherry flavored.

too weak

i'm not sure
if oliver
genuinely enjoyed
hanging out with
me.

all i know is
that everyone
who "wants"
to hang out
with me just pitys
me.

right now
i want
to lay in
bed and sleep forever
without anyone bothering me.

but life decided to
gift me another
school day.

wednesdays aren't that
amazing, either.

i walked through the halls,
the blue lockers
shutting
as nera or lily
rambled on and on
about their love lifes.

everytime i heard
them speak with each other,
i always heard a certain phrase:
how are you?

you must wonder
why i am so confused
about this
simple phrase
everyone asks,
i just haven't heard
that phrase
ever spoken
to me.

nobody ever
asked me about
my emotions.

not even that one
time when my
friend left me
for some
boy, and i sobbed
in a corner.

fingers pointed,
laughs and giggles,
eyebrows furrowing,
pushing me back and
forth into the wall.

i want to force
those memories
away
and have them
never discovered.

everything followed fine,
until this
group started
stepping towards me.

you, telly. what's your name again? whatever.
hand me your backpack, i'll take a look at what you've got.
i listened to him chuckle.

i didn't even know these
people, why did they
pluck out their hands and
knuckles
like they were about
to beat me up?

it was all a blur.

the punching.

the giggling.

the cheer ons.

the absolute bullying.

okay, we're done with you.
i heard the guy comment,
gripping up my
backpack
and turning
away.

i didn't even try to stand up.

i became too weak.

another reason why no one
liked or loved me.

i can't ever stand up for myself.