All My Ghosts

SEVEN

The ride home is comfortable. Vivienne sits with her knees curled to her chest, looking out the window. And of course Spencer fights the urges to tell her about how dangerous it is to sit in the car with your feet up.

Vivienne sits with her head looking out the window, focused on the lively town.

We pass by a mother and father walking with their two kids. A little boy and girl. They're all laughing with ice cream in their hands.

"Children are so beautiful, aren't they?" A true, genuine smile spreads across her face.

Spencer's head perks up at the question, not expecting it.

"Yeah, why do you say that?" He responds, curious of her answer

As she watches the family go by, she notices another. Laughing and happy. She wishes she were in their place.

"The most innocent you'll ever be is as a child. So pure, children do no wrong." She replies in awe, envious of the childhood she never got.

"I just don't understand how anyone could hurt a little kid." Vivienne says, her voice shrinking. Her head averts away from the window and down at the floor, focusing on picking the skin around her nails.

"I know vivienne. I know.." the genius replies, now focusing more on her than the road, glancing back at it every so often.

The doctor then reaches out, and gently puts his hand over viviennes. She flinches slightly but doesn't move her hand.

"do you want kids one day?" She says in a tone just louder than a whisper, curious about his answer. She thought that he's so gentle with her, he would be a great father.

"yeah. If I meet the right person, and she wants kids of course. How about you?" He says as his cheeks glow a light pink

Vivienne giggles at the sight him before responding.

"Good answer. And me? Absolutely. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love children, I can't wait to be the mother i never had."

She fantasizes, all though she did have a mom, she wasn't a MOTHER. She didn't teach Vi how to braid her hair, or about what a period was. She didn't tell her how to shave her legs or how to talk to boys. They didn't bake together or watch movies. But that was going to change when vivienne was a mother. She was going to be great.

From the drivers seat, Spencer smiles. A smile that lasts way longer than it should've. A blush he should've hid, but he didn't.

"I love that about you." He says without thinking

"What?" She immediately turns her head, curious about his answer

"The way you can make light of every situation. You're gonna be a great mom someday." Spencer replied genuinely. He believed it. And a small part of him, deep in the back of his mind, pictured himself as the father. An extreme hypothetical, of course. The mind thinks of crazy things.

Vivienne can feel her cheeks burn up at his comment. Spencer was so genuine, so gentle. So kind. Not to mention utterly attractive. But that's besides the point.

"thanks." Is all she could get out, in a whisper.

She knows what she wants in her heart, but she's been through so much. It's gonna take a lot to open up. Every single time a man touches her, she sees her dad. Every single time Spencer makes a nice comment to her, it's like she's back at that house. The calm before the storm.

The rest of the drive is quiet. The only sounds are their soft breathing and viviennes soft humming to the sound of the music outside.