to eternity | n. riki

31. weary bones

The day of the ball arrived and it was to start once the sun went down. There were grand preparations for this day as the ballroom was decorated in yellow and pink flower garlands, the royal crest of Eloria and Odessia hung all over the room. The maids were cleaning, the chefs were cooking up a storm, the guests were excited. This was the very first ball held in ages since the war and it was a way to celebrate the engagement of Prince Ni-ki and Princess Isabel.

Since the Odessian royal family arrived, Hayoung hadn't seen the prince. The security around the palace was much stricter, but it seemed that her assistance as the prince's bodyguard was no longer needed. She had lots of time. Hayoung would leave once the Prince and Princess were wed, but it was odd to be walking in the Elorian palace doing nothing. The days would go by as if she were in a time loop, not knowing what was going on outdoors. She had no way of knowing what the current status of the war and battlefield were, what her father and brother were doing. It worried her, but there was genuinely nothing she could do about it.

The kingdom of Eloria was a mountainous region with lots of natural hot springs. The minerals and clean water were excellent for health and the restoration of the body. With the ball coming in the evening, Hayoung and Serci had received permission to use the royal hot spring facilities. This was a new experience for the young ladies as Odessia only had beaches and the coast. And Hayoung surely needed the rest and relaxation after her high risk, life threatening mission.

"Hayoung, you are going to get the best spa day of your life," Serci exclaimed with bliss, "I have set a schedule for peak relaxation. First we'll bathe in the hot springs, then get massages, do facials, mediate in the zen room, have a tea break, have an Elorian stylist fix that awful greenish brown hair of yours, and-"

"Hey-" Hayoung cut Serci off, "My hair isn't that bad."

Serci raised her eyebrows as she stared at Hayoung, "Babes, there's no way- your hair looks tragic. It's so dry and the color looks awful. Your natural hair color looked so much better. I don't remember the last time your hair was black."

"Cici," Hayoung said with a frown.

"You can not dye your hair with hydrogen peroxide. Hayoung, trust me, you have to go back to your natural hair color. And you know how rare it is to see someone with black hair these days-"

"That's because the Zyrkonians committed mass genocide against my people," Hayoung shot back, catching Serci off guard, "My hair color is not a trendy nor lucky to have. It makes me distinguishable. Others can tell I'm Xernian. People still hold anger against Xernians, Cici. I just got lucky my dad found me and my brother while we were on the brink of death. You know what, I'm lucky my dad is such a high official in this society or I would actually be dead."

"Hayoung, I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"No don't even apologize because at the end of the day, I'm always a damn fucking Xernian who has no place in this society and I-" Hayoung caught herself as looked at Serci, Serci's eyes soft with sadness.

"I'm so sorry, Cici," Hayoung whispered breathlessly, "I don't know what got over me."

Serci wrapped her in a heartfelt hug, squeezing Hayoung tightly and comfortingly rubbing her back.

"I know you don't like to talk about the past and you don't have to, but I know there's something on your mind. If you want to, you can tell me. I'm your best friend, that's what I'm here for."

Hayoung took a deep breath, "I'll tell you when we're in the hot springs. Cici, people are watching everywhere."

Serci and Hayoung walked into the changing rooms, undressed, and wrapped their bodies in thin linen towels. Serci had never seen Hayoung's body before but was startled when she saw the various types of scars covering her back and arms. From burn marks to training scars to the battlefield. It made sense why Serci had never seen any part of Hayoung's body exposed. Hayoung always wore clothes that fully covered her body, she knew it was unsightly and would cause excess attention she didn't want.

Serci didn't say anything as they waded their way into the hot spring. Serci rather admired how Hayoung had endured her struggles and seasons of pain. Hayoung never gave in to her past, but forced herself to keep going forward.

"I'm sorry I lashed out on you, Cici," Hayoung sighed, "I really didn't mean it. Ever since I arrived here, things have been weird. I have this odd feeling in my stomach that something bad is going to happen. I've been so stressed and I can't eat and throw up almost immediately, I can't sleep, I'm nervous all the time. I wake up in the middle of the night panicking about nightmares from the past. I see my parents, I see Heeseung. I feel like I'm losing my mind. After everything that's happened, Serci, I just want to disappear. I don't want to remember anything. During the whole mission I was mortified that something bad was going to happen to Ni-ki. I was terrified when the Zyrkonian military inspected the ship and- "

Hayoung suddenly felt tears spill out of her eyes. This was the first time she had cried in nine years. Serci embraced Hayoung again, as Hayoung continued to cry, unable to stop this time. The comfort she felt with Serci was almost maternal. She truly felt comfortable around her, but was never able to figure out her emotions. The years of suppressing her emotions confused her, never giving her time to process anything she's been through. From her parents death, to witnessing the number of human tragedies, it was a horrific cycle of not knowing how to express nor understand herself.

"Cici, I'm tired. I'm so tired. I wish everything would end. Is there even a point to fighting this war? All hope seems lost," Hayoung said in between sobs, "I just wish the prince will be happy and I can live in peace, but I know that's not going to be true. The world is going to fall apart with this marriage."

"Hayoung, I can't guarantee everything, but I'm hopeful that things are going to get better," Serci exclaimed her voice breaking, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. You are the strongest person I know."