to eternity | n. riki

29. a perplexing confession

Prince Ni-ki paced around the royal garden with Hayoung. He walked in the moonlight, passing bushes of roses, topiaries of all sorts of animals, a grand water fountain, and water lilies in a pond. Finally after two full days of preparations for the wedding, Ni-ki was finally able to get time for himself. The past days felt like a blur to him. Preparing his wedding vows, talking with the priest, being forced to stay with Princess Isabel. He felt exhausted and duties were just starting.

"How is your wound healing, captain?" Ni-ki asked Hayoung as she walked behind him. She could tell he was exhausted just by the tone despite trying to hide it.

"Significantly better," she responded, "The princess was quite kind to let the royal family physician help me."

"The princess, huh?"

There was silence as they kept walking, Hayoung following Ni-ki's every step from behind. The sounds of their boot heels clicking against the cobblestone pavement filled the quietness of the night.

"Will you not walk next to me?" the prince asked her as he stopped walking, turning to her. His gaze was soft as he looked into her eyes. His tiredness was apparent and looked as if he hadn't slept since he arrived in Eloria, but still had a sweet look.

"Stop looking at me like that," Hayoung scolded him as her eyes averted down, her heart skipping a beat, facing heating up, and walking up to his feet.

"Shit, why do I feel like this?" she thought flustered.

The prince laughed a genuine laugh as he watched her storm in his direction.

"Satisfied?"

Ni-ki nodded his head happily as they began to walk together. The prince observed her, matching his every move to follow Hayoung.

"Hayoung, that day when we were attacked," he began, loneliness in his voice, "I have never fought anyone physically like that before. I was in the air force. I wasn't trained for land combat. All I know is how to operate the aircrafts for war, but even so I never went out on the front lines. I'm sorry for being so useless. If I only moved, you wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"Your high- Ni-ki," she corrected herself, her face still felt warm, "I am your bodyguard for a reason. If I get hurt, then I get hurt. On this mission, you knew your safety was the priority, not mine. And look, I am perfectly fine now. My stitches were removed and I am able. Please do not worry about me. Though it doesn't make it better, my hands have been covered in blood for years. However, you don't need to stain your hands with blood."

"They've been stained in blood," he exclaimed solemnly, "From the moment this war began to the thousands of innocent lives lost, my existence alone stains my hands in blood."

It was silent after his words but the truth. They both knew and could't deny it. The royal families were a priority to keep the nations going, but the lives lost felt as if this war effort wasn't worth it. It felt as if Odessia had already lost the war.

"Can I lean on you, Hayoung?" the prince asked her.

"Of course, I am your bodyguard and here for that reason."

Ni-ki slowly walked closer to her, their bodies inches apart. He sighed deeply as he leaned over Hayoung, his head resting on her shoulder. Hayoung's eyes widened, taken aback by his actions.

"Ni-ki, I thought you were talking about figuratively not physical-"

"Can we just stay like this?" he whispered, "I'm kind of tired."

He sounded sad and defeated. Hayoung didn't know what she could do for him at this point. The mission was almost complete. They had traveled so far and risked their lives, but Ni-ki seemed as if he had lost all hope.

"Do you really not want to marry her?" Hayoung asked him softly, comfortingly patting his back.

"I would rather die than marry her," he said coldly as he wrapped his arms firmly around Hayoung. Hayoung's arms dropped as she felt her fists clench in surprise.

"Are you okay?"

"No," he said breathlessly, "Everyday feels so miserable, Hayoung. It's so miserable I could die. I know this is to save Odessia and the world, but there had to be a different way. Selling my livelihood to be unhappy for the rest of my life? That hurts. It hurts me that I can't be with the one I want to be with. After being forced to say vows I don't mean and act as if I'm content with this decision, it feels horribly wrong. I've always known in the back of my head that it was always going to be you. I was captivated by you the moment I saw you as children. Hayoung, I want to be with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you whether I'm married or not. I want to be by your side." 

**

That night Hayoung went back to her room overwhelmed and troubled by the prince's confession. In the back of her head, she knew reconnecting with Ni-ki would lead to this outcome. She didn't want to let her guard down, but she failed as she let him get close to her.  Hayoung could tell within the past few days how he was more energetic with her and blatantly lying to the princess and queen. And now, it would be impossible for him to ever be happy again being trapped in Eloria. 

Hayoung sighed and paced around the room, unsure what was to happen. Her head perked up and her eyes were drawn to the door as she heard footsteps approach. She heard a soft swoosh as a small piece of paper went under her door. As she walked and picked it up her hands ever so slight trembled as she read:

"There are eyes all over the palace."